What Grace Has Given Me
by MaraudingManaged
Summary: I've been told that we were originally from this place, but we were sent to the future by my father to keep us safe. This world became legend, then myth, and then what I thought was fiction. We weren't meant to come back when we did, I don't even know if my family are still alive, but now I have to try and make a life here when I don't even speak the language. Perfect!
1. The Disaster

**Hi! **

**I can't believe how long it's been since I very first started this story. I guess it must have been about five years ago.  
For any new-comers to this fic, I initially had this on the site a few years ago but it was unfortunately pulled - to this day, I don't know why completely. As I didn't have the story on my PC then I never continued, but a very kind soul send this to me and I've started re-writing it. **

**I hope you enjoy it. This isn't a very serious story, but it is book-verse rather than movie-verse so bear that in mind. It isn't 10th walker per se, but is based around 5 OC's at the time of the War of The Ring. **

**As always at the start of a new story, I don't own any of this beautiful world, but I do like to play with it. I make absolutely nothing from it except the warm and fuzzies! **

**Lots of love,  
MM -x**

* * *

"Benny, wake up!"

I heard the screech a mile off. There was no way to avoid a sound like that – that sound being my mother announcing that she was awake, so everyone else in the house should be too.

"Oh joy," I muttered under my breath, burying my head deeply into the covers of my bed. "It's a Saturday morning, the summer holidays and there is no reason on this earth why I should wake up!" I nestled further into the sheets post-outburst, only to have them rudely removed.

"Get up!" mum smiled brightly down at me, and I glared icily to no effect. "It's a beautiful morning, the sun is out, and it's holiday time!"

"I know, I heard you the first time and then for the last week! It's morning, so I'd like my bed to remain firmly underneath me for at least another hour, please." I wrenched my covers back.

It wasn't that I was being particularly sullen or sulky. However, having just returned from University I was well used to lie-ins after having only one morning lecture a week, ONE. A solitary day where I had to rise unceremoniously at the crack of dawn, fight for the shower and get to a lecture for 9 o'clock in the morning.

"_Up_, Bernadette Richards, or we'll leave without you! Half an hour, your choice." That got me going, as my full name always did. I did want to go on this holiday, but to cut the costs we'd had to pick some fairly anti-social flights.

"Mother, call me Berna-bloody-dette and I will push you out of the boarding door mid-flight. " I sat up in bed, and stretched until each of my vertebrae cracked. I rested my feet on the floor and rubbed my eyes to clear any sleep from them. "Happy now?"

Mum's green-grey eyes twinkled as I squinted up at her in the mid-summer 6am sunlight. "Good morning to you too. There's some hot water left for a shower – but you really, really do need to get a move on. We need to be gone by seven, I want to pack the hairdryer and the other bathroom bits sooner rather than later.." She flounced out of the room, and I glared enviously that at 46 she had such good fortune. A fabulous figure, lovely hair and very few wrinkles ... and was a morning person.

I shook my head and stood, stumbling my way across the hallway to the bathroom where the lovely, scaldingly hot shower awaited me.

**xxxXxxx**

_Click-Flash!_

_Click-Flash!_

"Oh for Christ's sake, Benny, _give up_! You're giving me a headache," mum complained as I continued my snap-happy airport photography. Planes, the cute check-in attendant, and my little sisters Victoria and Jade were all my subjects. This was something I did obsessively when I was excited, or about to do something I really loved – in this instance flying somewhere far, far away. Photographs lasted a lifetime, and those little memories to me were a part of what made me who I was.

"I'm going to the loo for a minute," I said as I packed my camera away and placed my phone safely in my pocket. "I need to check my stuff." I gathered my rucksack protectively in my arms, and then swung it onto my back.

"Okay sweetie," my mum said absently as she flicked through her magazine. "Keep your phone on and don't be too long." I voiced my understanding and navigated my way through the busy departure lounge for the surrounding gates.

Checking my hand-luggage began with my dad, though he died when I was 15. He had cancer, terminally, and there was nothing else he could do to get rid of it. He was honourable and didn't want to go through chemotherapy because he didn't want us to see him suffering and in pain; he wanted our last memories of him to be when he was still happy, so full of life. He saw that we as a family were safe, financially and otherwise, and then...he did all but kill himself. He stopped the little treatment he was on and went into care, he very rarely let us see him. I was heartbroken, and mum was beside herself. It was a really horrible period of time and it nearly destroyed us as a family, but we made it though even if it left us a little worse for wear. Now it was approaching 5 years on, the time had flown by and I didn't really know where it had gone.

Dad loved travelling, but he had this strange compulsion to ensure our hand luggage was packed like an overnight bag, in case someone stole your suitcase or it was lost. Mum and the twins didn't do it anymore, but it had stuck with me since I was little and I didn't see the harm in keeping it up. It was a good thing I had, really; otherwise I'd have been in a mess 24 hours later – it's thanks to him I was at least a little prepared for what was going to happen. Sometimes I wonder if he knew it was going to happen – but I don't think about it much. Frankly, I try not to think about it at all.

I sat in the stall of the airport toilet and unpacked my bag, running a mental inventory. _Underwear, pyjamas, t-shirt, brush, makeup bag, roll-on anti-perspirant, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, chocolate, three books, mp3 player, camera, batteries, jewellery, and teddy_. Everything I was likely to need.

_Well, nearly everything _I thought ruefully as I bought a few packs of tampons from the vending machine after re-packing my bag. _There are some places men will not go. _

I glanced up into the mirror before I left, considering my appearance. It wasn't that I stood out from a crowd, but I didn't follow particularly fashionable trends. My hair was short, a style that touched the nape of my neck at the back and slanted to well under my chin at the front, the bottle-black a stark contrast to pale skin. A silver lip ring, a small nose stud and a heavy side-fringe decorated my heart-shaped face; however, I left my slightly slanted green-grey eyes, like my mum's, clear to be seen as they were surrounded by smokey make-up. Not tall, not short, and a little more to love.

I shook myself internally and smiled. I wouldn't change how I was simply to fit in with the norm. Today, I was going to America – more specifically, Florida – which meant a long flight and many, many photographic opportunities. I twisted my dad's ring that sat on my thumb, wishing for a moment he was with us, so he could drag me on all the roller coasters and laugh at the pictures at the end of the ride.

I looked at the ring closely for the millionth time, marvelling at how simple it was, yet beautiful. Plain silver, a Leaf emblem sitting in the middle of a crest, surrounded by a crown. Dad found it when he was digging a vegetable plot in the garden, and decided it was going to bring him luck. I can remember clearly what he said that day as he made up a story for the symbols. The shield meant that nature held power that made it as royal as any king or queen to him, and he would look after his own bit of nature well.

I heard our flight being called out over the speakers in the bathroom and dashed back to the departure lounge, seeking out my mum and sisters. They were bickering about who was having the window seat as mum handed my boarding card and passport, along with my purse which I put in my bag.

We boarded the plane and headed to our seats – my allocated seat was right by the window with mum sat beside me, which was absolutely perfect. My sisters sat in front of us, their blonde heads close as they poured over the films offered on the flight, as listed in the in-flight magazine.

"Are you alright?" Mum asked as she was putting her bag underneath the seat, I myself was doing the same, and I grinned.

"You know it. Exited much?" I let out a squeak and she nodded, her wide smile reaching her eyes as she brushed her flyaway hair into a pony-tail.

"We're going to America, Benny – I can't believe we're finally doing it! And watch your grammar." Her tone held a clear edge of dissatisfaction.

"Sorry, excited; no much in that phrase." I said, grinning at her.

The plane started to taxi down to the runway and I fastened my seatbelt, tuning out from all the safety procedures. I'd had an early morning – I wanted to catch up on the sleep I'd lost.

As the plane began to pick up speed, I smiled and let the gentle pressure of take-off push my head back into the seat. I closed my eyes as the great white jet-plane soared upwards above the earth.

**xxxXxxx**

I was woken by a violent jolt as the aeroplane hit what I assumed was a bit of a bumpy patch– but I soon realised it was stronger than average mid-flight turbulence and high-speed winds. I looked around; there were a few panicked faces, and as a deep rumble echoed outside of the plane I worked out that we were flying through a pretty big storm.

"Would all passengers return to their seats and fasten their safety belts until the lights above your heads switch off, we're just going through a small storm... " intoned the pilot's calm voice on the overhead speakers. I'd fallen asleep with mine on, and I looked at mum who was nervously fiddling with her own.

"Here, " I muttered as I fastened it for her, and she closed her eyes tightly to block out everyone's faces. "It's gonna be alright, just a little storm like the pilot said ... " I said soothingly, not truly believing it.

The plane took a massive jolt and I felt the cabin pressure change as we dropped in height. The TV screens flickered and went black, thunder rumbled all the louder outside and flash of light I took for lightning.

I heard a scream from somewhere behind us and I automatically grabbed my mum's hand, panic and nervousness creeping into my stomach. I tangled my feet in the straps of my rucksack so I knew it was with me, and I whimpered as the plane bounced and dropped again with another tremendous crash. Everything in the cabin went dark as the storm threw us violently to one side and the emergency lights flickered into life, oxygen masks dropping from the ceiling.

Rapidly we dropped, then the jet tilted and I was thrown to my right into the wall of the plane. The twins in front of me were sobbing and I shouted at them that it was going to be okay as I held onto mum, but I screamed as I looked out of the window.

The engine and the wing was on fire and smoke billowed threateningly. I was beyond panic and falling into sheer terror as we began to spiral uncontrollably downwards through the bottomless sky. Without warning the world exploded in heat with a noise so close it went right through my chest, and all I could see were lights - bright whites and reds and yellows. There was unimaginable pain as my body felt like it was being ripped away, and finally, there was nothing.

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**Thank you for taking the time to read, and if you feel so inclined do leave a review.**


	2. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Hi again! **

**As it's a new story, I thought I'd pop up another chapter today too! Spoiled, the lot of you. This is the exception, not the rule! My plan is to update whenever I have a midweek day off from work. If my day off falls on a weekend, then it will be the following week as I'll be spending the day with my other half catching up!**

**As always, not mine, and enjoy! **

**Lots of love,  
MM -x**

* * *

I came around very slowly, my senses returning to me one by one and I coughed hard to try and make breathing come a little easier. I could feel a breeze dance across my face as I lay flat out on my back, but I didn't open my eyes. In part this was because I didn't think I physically could; my whole body was burning, a deep-seated ache that took no prisoners as it ran in waves from my head to my toes. The second, more prominent reason was the fear I would see something I just couldn't face right there and then. Like dead bodies, like my mum and sisters ... I choked on the thoughts invading my mind and coughed again, turning my head to the side to rest.

Slowly, painfully, I stretched out my arm and ran my fingers across the surface of where I was resting, and welcomed an unexpected sensation. The soft tickle of grass stroked my fingertips, and they encountered the slightly sharp, cool surface of a stone. I moved to roll over onto my stomach, only to be hindered slightly by the weight of what I assumed to be my rucksack tangled around my feet. I gave a good kick, rolling myself over with a grunt, and cracked open my eyes. The dim lighting suggested it was dusk or early morning, so I dared to open them a little further. I was staring at fairly tall grass. It was grass, soft and cool that was tickling my nose, not the acrid stench of burning metal and other remains that I expected. I turned my head to the other side and sighed with more relief as trees dotted my low line of vision.

I brought my arms underneath me and gave myself a solid push onto my knees whilst staring, dumbfounded. There were trees around me, stars beginning to light the sky above me and solid, living earth below me. My muscles protested at my movements, and I felt my head spin as I turned it too quickly.

"What the hell... " I said to myself, startled as my voice sounded much louder than I had intended as the ringing subsided. I pinched myself, and let out a strangled cry at how much more it hurt than it should have. I looked at my arm; there was a little red mark where I'd caught the skin, but no other injuries. I felt my face, nothing bleeding that I could detect, and the aching in my bones was easing minute by minute. Reaching behind me, I removed my bag from around my ankles and placed it in front of me. I stood in one swift movement but it felt as if my body didn't belong to me; my legs shook as if they were brand new couldn't support my weight. The burning returned and I collapsed in a heap on the floor, my hands splayed out in front of me to prevent any serious damage.

"Shit!" I complained as I rubbed my hands, which I'd grazed on the scattered ricks whilst landing. Deciding it was best to stay seated for now, I gathered up my bag and checked its contents. Everything was there, mostly unscathed and even in full working order in the case of electrical equipment. The books and teddy I'd brought looked a little dog-eared, but all things considered I thought this to be a success.

"Mum?" I called out as I hauled the rucksack onto my back, standing again, this time my movements were much slower so I could fall from a lower height. "Tori? Jade?" the only response was my own echo, and the clatter of wings against leaves as I disturbed a few birds in trees nearby.

"Anyone? Hello, is anyone out there?" I felt panic eating at my stomach for the second time that day, but now for an entirely different reason. I was alone, in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in the universe, without any reference to the devastation that had occurred only earlier that day. Not a single soul, not a chunk of metal, nor a body of someone from the crash.

The realisation hit me like a bus; I should have been _dead._

I felt tears well in my eyes and I bit out a harsh sob. Wrenching my gaze in all directions around me I begged in vain for someone, anyone, to come and find me and to take me home. The trees around me were in sharp relief, and I could see an owl in one of the nearer trees staring at me with glowing eyes.

Not thinking straight, I opened my phone and tried to call anyone I could. No signal. Not a hint of a dial tone as I tried every emergency number I could think of. I yelled in frustration and threw the phone at the ground, running my hands through my hair and grabbing at it.

"Look. God, Allah, Hecate, whoever! If this is your idea of a sick, twisted joke, then I'm laughing! I get it, it's funny! Now please, please, take me back to where everyone is!" I shouted up to the stars, the view marred by the leaves of the trees around me. Nothing happened, not that I'd really expected it to.

"Oh shit, I'm here alone." I said in a whisper. I was completely alone, and in desperation I started crying, screaming again, letting every stab of despair I felt fly out into the night sky, I remained firmly attached to the ground in the same place I was before.

It must have been a hour or so later that I wiped my eyes on my sleeve, clearing away the smeared make-up, and resolved to figure out where I was. I simply had nothing left to do except fight to survive until I found some sort of trace of humanity.

"Right, listen, what can you hear?" I listened intently. I heard the gentle rustle of the wind in the trees around me, the quiet hiss of the grass as it blew. In the far, far distance I thought I could hear the playful gurgle off a stream but I was unsure – even as a musician my hearing couldn't be that accurate, and I didn't want to take the risk.

I sighed – it was time for another tactic. I picked my phone up and pocketed it, then took out the little food I'd already got to try and gain a little energy.

"Okay, let's find a path then!" I said in a mock cheery voice, and on very wobbly, unsteady legs I started in the direction where there was the biggest gap in the trees. Surely there would be a way to get out of here.

**xxxXxxx**

"This is _not _happening." I growled as I walked through glade after glade after glade, all looking very pretty, but all looking very... the same. The same but different. Some had different flowers, some had different types of trees, but they were still little pretty glades that didn't have any signposts, or anything that would give me a clue as to which way to go.

The dark had fully set in some hours ago and I was still managing to get about without a torch – the moon was enough light to see by. Nothing had come out to try and eat me so far; the only animals I had seen had simply looked at me and then moved on. My surroundings looked very much like the woods in England, the temperature was similar and the landscape was, thankfully, flat.

I reached another glade and sighed, this was not working in the dark and I was exhausted. I needed the sun and a particularly tall tree to climb up to try and get a good view of where I was. Picking a particularly broad tree I used my bag as a pillow against the emerging roots, curled up and let myself drift off into an uneasy rest. I was in an unfamiliar place and I needed to get out.

**XxXxx**

I heard mutterings as I stirred from my sleep. I hadn't slept for more than a few hours on and off, but I wasn't at all tired and felt almost refreshed. I figured that if I wasn't tired, I would be soon, so it would be better to get going and make use of whatever time I could. If there was someone who could help me then so much the better. I opened my eyes and sat up from my position ...

Only to promptly drop back in surprise. Above me two very tall, long-haired and very oddly dressed men were staring down at me from up in the tree. They dropped down elegantly and began talking to me in a pretty, soft language I recognised barely, however I'd be damned if I could understand it. Maybe it was Welsh? Gaelic?

"'Scuse me?" I said, blinking. "Do you speak English – or Spanish? Maybe French? I can speak a bit of Spanish or French if that helps?" I gestured uselessly, I was terrible at communicating with foreign people at the best of times.

They just looked at me and I looked back, totally and utterly confused. No English, no Spanish, no French. What did they want, me to speak every language on the bloody planet?

And then I saw their ears from behind that very long, brown hair. I checked back in memory to the language they used. Everything started spinning and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I pinched myself, over and over, to no avail. The two elves, because that was clearly what they were, looked worried and reached out to stop me. I batted their hands away and grabbed at anything I could to stop me from falling as I started to hyperventilate.

"Oh, this isn't happening. No, no-no-no-no ... okay, wake up Benny, wake up _right _now. Whatever machine you have me hooked up to, turn it off!"

* * *

**Elrohir**

"Who is she?" Elladan asked, looking down at the sleeping woman. "She is not from these parts, that much I can tell. Why is father so interested in her? She is but a girl."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, and that isn't obvious at all, is it brother? Look at her manner of dress, her appearance. No human or elf would you see from the known regions of Middle Earth would dress such, or mar their appearance such with metal. What do you think, in human terms? 16 years, 17 at best. She cannot be of elven kind."

"Hush! She is waking!" Elladan quietened me and we watched her in silence as she woke and gained her bearings.

"Now." We dropped down to the floor silently, landing and standing gracefully in front of the young woman. An impression really did need to be made, after all.

"You are in the realm of Elrond, Lord of the Elves in Rivendell, and he would very much like to speak with you, should you consent to our accompanying you. It is but a half-day journey to our home." I said rather dramatically. I remembered some of my father's diplomacy lessons – give a command as an offering to begin with, they are more likely to follow in your stead.

She replied with a confused expression – Elladan looked at me with a frown. The language she spoke was none I, or he, knew, though it's tones sounded like a moderated version of the Common tongue.

She began to speak again and we turned our attention to her in concern. She was hyperventilating, a pained look on her face as she pinched herself over and over. Not wishing her to do any damage to herself in her fear, I reached to grab her hands to prevent her actions, but she stopped of her own accord.

There was one word she said that stood out from the others – a word that meant the same obviously in her own tongue as it meant in those they knew – No. She was going to run.

* * *

**Benny**

I did what all sane people would do in a situation like mine. I didn't smile and say happily "Oh fantastic, I'm in Middle Earth, lets have a party!"

Oh no. I did the sensible thing, not knowing where I was in relation to a very popular, well known, complex fantasy story plot. However 'created' said world happened to be to me, to those living in it the planet was a real world, and they were very real within it. Maybe it was real, and then in that case what I knew could really be quite dangerous for me, and for them. So I did what I thought was best, logically.

I ran in the opposite direction.

As they say, hindsight is always 20/20 and running was a very silly thing to do. I was lumbered by a rather heavy rucksack, shoes that weren't perhaps the best thing to attempt what could be a rather long run in, and they were much, much faster than I was. I didn't stand a chance – but I had to try. I was lucky not to have tripped and fallen already. My legs would not hold me much longer, and I nearly collapsed as they reached me.

I screamed unintelligibly as I was grabbed unceremoniously from behind. Though I knew they didn't understand me I shouted words that sounded harsh enough to stop. "OW! Stop! Pain! _No!"_

They stopped grabbing me and I stilled. They seem to have understood at least a little of what I was saying. I turned to them, and I was startled at how remarkably similar they looked. Very similar – no, exactly the same. I thought back to the names of the different groups of twins I could recall, and settled on Elladan and Elrohir. If I said those names and was wrong, then I could pass it off as saying they were elves I once knew. If I picked historical names and was wrong, I would probably be locked up as a madwoman.

"Sons of Elrond," I muttered, hoping they weren't paying too much attention. They looked at, slightly shocked and also pleased – and one dared a reply. Even more of a shock, it made sense.

"Yes." So the languages of man were similar to English in the absolute basics – that I could work around. I pointed at myself.

"Bernadette. You?" I pointed at the one on the right.

"Elrohir." He replied, and then I pointed at the other. "Elladan" he said to me with a nod. Elrohir tried a phrase, but the connectives and a few of the words didn't work for me and it didn't make sense grammatically. I shook my head and held up one finger, silently asking him to try again in single words.

"You ... located ... from?" I took that as _where are you from? _Unfortunately, I couldn't formulate a simple enough answer, so I shook my head.

"Hard." Was all I said to him, and he seemed to take it as a reasonable answer. "Cannot stay, not from here, must go, danger."

"Danger? You – danger?"

I didn't understand what he meant, and so I gave a shrug indicating that I couldn't say.

"Come." He motioned me to follow, and I shook my head. He took my hand and pulled me with him. "Short safety." Short safety. Yeah right. For me, maybe – but for Middle Earth, definitely not so safe.

I pulled my hand away. "No." I said. "Bad, not safe, you" I pointed at myself and then them.

Elladan pointed at himself and his brother. "Good, safe, come." This was getting nowhere, we were going round in circles, metaphorically speaking, and so I took a stand and sat on the floor. I needed to explain why I couldn't go with them, so I opened my bag and withdrew the book I'd brought with me - that book being a compendium of Lord of the Rings. I flicked through the pages of the text; it was all still there, every word.

I looked up at the twins and pointed at the book, then at my head. "Future. Not Safe. Must Go." And here I motioned to my throat, a sinister slide from left to right – and they looked forlornly at me as they comprehended my meaning.

_I mustn't stay here, I have to go – I have to leave. I know too much – I know the future. _

They seemed to understand, and looked quite grim. What surprised me most was their next action.

One picked up my bag, careful to put all I had taken out back in. Whilst I fussed and tried to stop him, the other of the two approached me from behind and pressed a nerve point in my neck. From then, all I knew was blackness.

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**I love a good twin-attack! **  
**Let me know what you think so far :) **


	3. Misplaced Honour

**Hello lovely people. **

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews, and a nod to my returning readers who have come back 3 or 4 years later. Enjoy! **

**MM-x**

* * *

**Elrohir**

We carried this strange girl to our home with great haste, as fear for her life should she awaken plagued our thoughts. I could see that Elladan was resisting the urge to rifle through her belongings, and motioned for him to stop. Her claim of future knowledge was a serious one and if it was in this book the future was held, then she was as she said – dangerous. Knowing the future was a great gift the Valar gave to few and those people were held in high esteem, like our grandmother and on occasion our father. If the future of Middle Earth was enclosed in one document that was a dangerous tool indeed, and could change the fortunes of many if it fell into the wrong hands.

I stopped a moment to change my carrying position, aware it would not be well taken should I carry this girl into Rivendell hauled over my back like an animal from the hunt. I held her in my arms like a child and continued my walk.

"Elrohir!" Elladan called from in front of me, "We near home every passing minute. Is she stirring?" I looked at her face, and decided that if she was awake she was doing an excellent job of hiding it.

"No, she sleeps soundly. How long till we reach home?"

"But a half hour, if that. Will she stay unconscious for that length of time?"

"She should, she was sore in need of rest - her mind certainly has undergone a great deal of trauma. We should discuss this with Father when we return home." I studied her features. She was nothing outstanding in terms of great elven beauty. Pretty, to be sure, but she was more along the lines of striking. The ring to the side of her lip and the small star at the side of her nose added a tribal quality to her appearance, and I wondered briefly why she had decided to do it. Was it a strange fashion? Or was it to stand out? She could not have possibly stood out more, in my own opinion. Her hair shorter than any man's I had ever seen, cut at a strange angle.

"Elrohir, keep walking! We do not have time to dally." I was not aware my pace had slowed. I picked up my speed and we headed to our home, where my father was eagerly awaiting out arrival.

We reached our home quickly, and my father greeted us, looking at the girl quickly before motioning us to follow him to the room he had prepared for her arrival.

"So, she does not speak any of the commonly known languages of Middle Earth?" He asked as he directed me to place her on the bed.

"No Father, though we had a brief form of communication – in basis it is very much like the speech of man, though I believe it is much evolved." Elladan placed the bag she had brought with her on a table in the house of healing, and I looked on at her from the bed.

"She spoke of the future, Father." I said, remembering the end of our 'conversation'. "I fear she may try to take her own life, she should be well watched."

"In what way?" My father asked curiously. "In what way does she know the future?"

"A book." Elladan brought it over from the bag – the text on the cover I could not make much sense of.

"Have either of you read it?" He asked sharply, and we both shook our heads. "Good, for that way it shall remain. We cannot help but assume she has read this text and knows more than anyone here does. In that she is a great danger to Middle Earth, or she is indeed a blessing should we decide to take it that way. I shall keep this with me and lock it away – it may contain things we should not know."

"What shall we do with her belongings?" Elladan asked.

"Leave them here – when she wakes up she will want what is familiar to her. You two are now her guard until such times as she is stable again. I wish to be informed when she rises from her sleep; there is much I need to discuss with her, providing we can find a common medium with which to communicate."

Father twisted Vilya, and I knew he would attempt to use it to learn her language. "I must go, I am expecting Mithrandir soon. Check her for any substantial injuries and treat them as necessary. Your healing skills have been neglected of late." He swept out of the room, taking the book with him, and closed the door behind him.

"Well then. Let us have a look at her, shall we?" I announced, rubbing my hands to warm them. The last thing we needed was for her to awake to the sensation of cold hands in a state of panic.

On her hand I noticed a ring, as I cleaned the light grazes on her palms. It displayed a very familiar crest.

"Brother, come here." I said. "Look at the crest on this ring." He looked at it over my shoulder. "Is that not a symbol of the Mirkwood Elves?"

"It is! Maybe she comes from those parts, or indeed has elven family?" I considered this, and then checked the side of her head. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Elladan with a smile.

"Brother, I fear we were mistaken; this is no human girl. Unusual though her appearance may be... she is an elf."

**xxxXxxx**

**Benny**

"Uuuughhh" I moaned as I began to stir from my twin-induced sleep. The room was bright, decorated in cream and gold with heavy oak furnishings.

Someone was speaking to me in elvish. I pushed myself into a sitting position and saw a maid pottering around the room, smiling and holding out my bag. I looked at her in confusion, and her eyes went wide before she ran out of the room.

"Bernadette." A twin came into the room, bowing. I waved my hand, signalling that it wasn't necessary to do so.

"Father, speak." He motioned out of the room. "Dress, go."

"Elladan? Elrohir?" I asked his name. "Benny, please."

"Elrohir. Dress." He held out a heavy blue gown and I took it, looking at him.

"Out?" I asked him, and he displayed a faint blush before walking outside. I took my clean underwear from my bag and slipped it on. Thank you, daddy!

I pulled the given garment on, it was a beautiful dress. The sleeves were long and silvery, the neckline wide and scooping. The only thing I noticed was that it should have been far too long; all these elven folk should have been miles taller than me, but it only caught the ground slightly. I wondered if they had hemmed the dress to make it fit better whist I was sleeping. I put on the shoes I had been wearing when I came; they were at the foot of my bed. Though they were black and had diamanté on them, they were the only shoes I had and I would just have to not match.

I dragged a brush through my hair and left without looking in the mirror, I didn't really feel like seeing just what a state I was in after the hell that was the last day or so.

Elrohir bowed as I stepped out and I frowned. "No." I said, and he gave me a slightly slanted smile. He held out his arm and I hesitantly took it, letting him lead me to his father's study. Hopefully he could help me figure out how to get home, and I suspected that if I died to get here I would have to die to get back, or pass on to whatever afterlife there may be. There might have been nothing at all, and even that would have been better. I wasn't suicidal, per se, I just knew I didn't belong here and I didn't want to do any more damage to this world than I already had.

Elrohir knocked on a large dark door and waited for a response then opened it, leading me in. He held a quick conversation with his father and then left, giving me a slight smile that gave me a little reassurance.

The study was grand – rich greens and dark wood was visible on almost every wall, one of which was dedicated to an impressive bookcase. For a minute or two, Lord Elrond studied me and then stepped up to me, placing his fingers on my temples and closing his eyes. After a moment he stepped back, and I had a good look at him. He was tall, like most of the elves around Rivendell that we'd passed, and looked very much like his sons. His eyes were shining grey, his dark hair intricately braided behind him in a regal manner, and he offered me a warm smile.

"Welcome, Bernadette, to Rivendell. Please, sit down. There is much we have to discuss." I felt relief wash over me as I sat down opposite him in an armchair by his fireplace.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear someone able to speak my language." I said gratefully. "So I can explain my slightly complicated situation, and what I've got to do to get out."

He held up a hand as if to stop me for a moment. He stood, went to his bookcase, and pulled down a thick book – my copy of Lord of the Rings. "I kept this here until you woke. As you may be able to understand, I do not trust anyone with such an important document." I smiled as he placed the book on the coffee table between us. "So now I ask this. Who are you?"

I considered my answer. "I'm Bernadette Richards. I'm 19 years old, and I come from England. England is a little island near the continent of Europe on planet earth, the universe, and so on." I said.

"Earth? This is not Middle Earth?" I shook my head.

"Well, it could be, but a long, long time in the future. Either that or it is another world entirely, based on a very famous book in my own world. I'm personally more inclined to believe the former, considering the...very basic communication with your sons."

I considered what to say next. "I know a lot about this world, depending on where exactly in its history we are. So can you tell me some recent things that are happening?" I sat back in the chair, praying I was somewhere way further back so I could do everyone a favour and die of old age so I wouldn't mess things about.

Elrond gave me a strange look. "I suppose. We are awaiting a party of five, four Halflings and a Ranger, who bear a dangerous weapon which must be destroyed at all costs."

My heart plummeted and my breath caught. I was at the beginning of the war of the ring – the one place I dreaded out of any place I could possibly be in the history of Middle Earth. Unbelievable! The damage I could, and most probably would, do was just unbelievable.

"In that case, Lord Elrond, I must go. I am a considerable threat to your world but I really cannot explain much more, this is an absolute nightmare. I'm not suicidal, I don't _want _to die, but I really can't be around you. Let me remove myself from this situation." I took a shaky breath and stood. Elrond stood and walked over to the door, locking it firmly.

"You are going nowhere, and doing no such thing. I want to know more about this book of yours, and to what extent you could be of use." He stood at the door, his arms crossed and a demanding look on his face. I stayed silent. There was nothing I could say that was really safe. At least when no-one could speak to me I couldn't give anything away, but now I had to face the slightly scary Lord of Rivendell and that was a bigger problem.

"Look Lord Elrond, please don't take any of this as disrespect, but surely just being somewhere that I wouldn't have been, simply by some freak accident, is quite damaging? You know, like the butterfly effect?" Elrond looked at me blankly and I huffed in frustration. "The Butterfly Effect: A butterfly beats it's wings, and can create a storm somewhere else just because it changed the state of the world?" Comprehension dawned on his face and he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Your very existence here, Lady Bernadette, will already be well known by the Valar and by Eru himself. I think that if you were so dangerous to Middle Earth they would have removed you themselves, don't you?" His voice was commanding, a no-nonsense tone that made me shrink back a little. He had a point there. "As it stands you are here, very much alive and have a wealth of information that could, in my eyes, save lives and aid us in this war we may yet embark on."

I flopped back into the chair and heaved a defeated sigh. He had me in a corner there, by playing on faith. "I can concede on that point, but my family – I was travelling with them, there was an accident... I think they're dead. I'm not sure." I felt myself become sadder and sadder by the minute, and closed my eyes tiredly. "If I'm not with the people who mean the most in the world to me... I just, well, what's the point?"

Elrond walked to the chair opposite me, and sat. "What about your father?"

"He died five years ago, he had terminal cancer. That's an incurable disease, by the way, in my world. It's horrible and painful and causes so much suffering you cant imagine. That was hard enough, so don't you think that with all the rest of my family torn from me I'm going to struggle?" I looked at him, a sad smile playing on my lips.

He considered my answer for a moment, and then took my hands in his. "I understand that you are hurting, but there is much else to live for you have not yet seen, for you are young and have many years left on this earth." He stopped suddenly. "What is this?" He looked at my ring.

"Oh, that. It's a ring my dad said he'd found when he was gardening one time. He gave it to me before he died. It's just a piece of junk jewellery." I said, looking at Lord Elrond again.

"I think it is something a little more important than a piece of _junk_ jewellery." He went to his bookcase again and picked a well-read, leather-bound volume from a high flicked through the pages and pointed to a particular shield, motioning me to cross the room and view the page he pointed to.

"It is an old crest of a well respected Mirkwood family. The tale is that they were murdered by orcs over five hundred years ago as a family, but their bodies were never found. Tell me, what was your father's name?"

"Gaelin. He said it was his grandfather's name. It's not a common name where I come from."

"However, it is not uncommon here in Middle Earth." He looked at me. "Lady Bernadette ... was your father old when he died?"

The question shocked me. "Um, no, not really. He was 40, but he looked much younger – he was really healthy and really looked after himself."

Lord Elrond locked his eyes with mine. "And was he dark-haired, or fair?"

"Quite dark brown. Look, lord Elrond, this is making me feel really, really horrible talking about him like this. Why do you want to know, anyway?" I was getting quite annoyed by the interrogation.

"Because it could very well explain who you are and why you are here. Well, Lady Bernadette, I think I have taken much of your time today. My sons will be here momentarily to escort you where you wish to go, I imagine you are rather hungry." He began to lead me to the door. "I do not want you under the impression that I will let you leave Rivendell in any way, by foot or by death. I will not have any elves under my care become so consumed by grief or misplaced honour that they wish to kill themselves. I would rather them find their rest in Valinor where all is pure and good, where they can recover."

I let out a spluttered choke. "Um, did I just hear you correctly? Did you just suggest I was an elf?"

Lord Elrond gave me a knowing smile. "I did." He said blandly.

"Um, look, Lord Elrond, sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not an elf. I'm 100 percent human, through and through."

He gave a chuckle. "If that is what you want to believe. But I was under the impression that pointed ears, grace and height were considered particularly elven features." He motioned for me to feel my ears.

With a shaking hand, I reached up and instead of finding a shell-shaped ear, there was a graceful and sensitive point. I felt myself stumble and Elrond moved quickly to support me as I sat down on the chair I had just occupied.

"Are you well?" He checked my pulse as the world began to spin again. "A little shock, perhaps?" A cool palm pressed to my forehead, which was distinctly clammy.

"Little bit." I muttered and dropped my head between my knees, trying to breathe slowly.

"A little slower, and slower still. There, do you feel a little more comfortable?" I felt a cool cloth replace his hand and I was guided to sit up. My vision was clearer and I could see one of the twins had come to help.

"Getting there." I confirmed. "How has this happened? What the hell is going on?" I moaned slightly as I felt a little wave nausea hit me.

"I will need to find out more for you on that score, but in the meantime I expect your body is changing to accommodate it's natural form. I expect the worst is done, but you may yet feel some discomfort." Elrond returned to his desk and picked up what appeared to be a quill. "My son, I have work to complete. Would you lead Lady Bernadette back to her chambers so she may rest?"

"Of course, father." The twin said, and bowed. "Here, let me assist you." He held an arm out for me to hold on to as I stood, and helped me to make my way back to bed.

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**As always, I hope you enjoy and leave a review! **


	4. Speaking in Tongues

**Hello lovely people! **

**I do apologise for the delay. This chapter has been ready to roll for a while but I've just not had a moment to myself to post! After working a 6 day week, one day off, two days in, one day off (today), then another 5 days in, starting tomorrow. Lovely! **

**Anyway, the next chapter after this just needs a quick review and that's ready to go, so a smaller gap in posting this time. As always, not mine, and enjoy!**

**MM-x**

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_Elves shouldn't get ill_ I thought ruefully as I wiped my mouth, lying back on my bed and pressing a cool cloth to my head. I was sweating hot and cold; shivers and heat and pain were all I could think about. My muscles ached, I was on sensory overload, and my skin hurt from the lightest touch. I felt my stomach cramp up again and I vomited violently into the bowl placed by my bed. Apparently the shifting between bodies, times or _whatever_ had happened had taken a rather large toll on me, and I was now so unbelievably ill.

I hadn't accepted any of what I'd been told. Well, I'd recognised that I happened to have some Elven features and I was most definitely in Middle Earth; but I was not, in any way shape or form, accepting that I was an Elf and that I was plopped into this war zone by the Valar. No way. I rationalised it by repeatedly assuring myself that if I was an elf, wouldn't I be able to at least speak ONE of the languages of Middle Earth for the purpose of ease to settle in? If this were at all real, should it not be perfect and happy and easy for me to settle in and accept it all? Why would the Valar have been so unfair as to leave me here on my own without anyone I knew?

_But you do know people here, in a sense_ that irritating internal voice of mine commented lightly. _Go on, name people, describe their personality. Go on, I dare you_

"Shut up." I grumbled out loud. I had no reasonable answer to explain how I was acting other than shock, sadness and an obscene amount of fear. No-one seemed to understand why I was so scared. I _shouldn't_ have been scared of being alone, going to somewhere I've never been on my own; after all, I did just that going to university.

True, but there I could still contact the people I knew and loved. Here in the past, this other place, I was so completely and utterly alone. No-one to talk to except Elrond, no-one who could reassure me that it would all be okay, and who I could _believe._

I let my stomach settle again and moved the bowl out of my sight, though I could still catch an acrid whiff if I turned in that direction. I shakily got to my feet and, ensuring my "nightclothes" (it was more like a full-blown dress, in my opinion) weren't covered in anything less pleasant, and walked to the balcony to get some fresh air. It was quite cool and it was refreshing to be out of my room after spending a fair amount of time there. I sat on the floor of the balcony and looked out through the twisted metal bars. The view was breathtaking and it dawned on me that I was in Rivendell, said to be one of the most beautiful places in all of Middle Earth... and for the last few days I'd been complaining about it.

I watched elves come and go in the early afternoon sunlight, the golden rays reflecting off the stream that gurgled through the valley and the trees standing proud and tall around the courtyard below. If I had my dates right, Frodo would be here soon, within the next few days, and I was at a loss as to what to do. I could go and talk to the hobbits, to Legolas, to Boromir and Aragorn, and risk their lives but begin to enjoy my time here whilst it lasted. Or I could not, make sure they lived, and wait for an opportunity to get myself away to somewhere I could do no damage until all of the important parts of their history had passed. I didn't know which way to go.I was still torn internally in this place between believing and denying, hoping and hating myself for hoping. I hoped I could get home, I hoped my mum and sisters were still alive.

I was also starting to hope that I could find more our about my dad. He'd always been kind of aloof and a stranger at times, but I was like that too. _Me and dad weren't so different, were we?_ I mused, closing my eyes. _Stubborn, deep-thinking, quiet, reliable, a little aloof. What a combination_.

I heard someone gently close the bedroom door and watched as Elrond approached the balcony. "Do you seek peace? Or do you simply desire the clear air?" he asked as used the bars to I stand and face him. Every few hours I seemed to gain a little height, and I now came to just under his chin, where before I had barely reached his armpit. I think this growth was the main cause of the severe muscle pain that was coming and going in waves, although I hadn't told anyone about the pain, just the sickness and fever I couldn't hide.

"A mixture of both, Lord Elrond. I was admiring the view, thinking about a lot of things, and trying to clear my head. Looking at the same four walls is starting to make me feel claustrophobic; I never really stay in one place for very long. I can't sit still for more that a couple of hours at a time. Unless I'm reading a really good book, that is." I added as an afterthought.

"Well then, when you are feeling yourself again how would you feel about a short tour of Rivendell with one, or both, of my sons?" I perked up that – I had quite fancied a look around.

"Yeah, I'd like that. I just need something more appropriate to wear than what I came in. I'd rather not draw more attention to myself than absolutely necessary." He nodded, and turned to leave.

"Make sure you eat something, you will do more damage being ill on an empty stomach than on a full one. Shall I send someone with a small tray or will you come to dinner?" He asked over his shoulder at the door.

"I'll stay in my room if that's okay, Sir, I don't really fancy the strange looks until my stomach can handle them." I replied with a laugh. "Although I wouldn't mind some company, so I might make an appearance later if I feel up to it. I have something I need to do, anyway."

"What is that?" Elrond asked cautiously. "If you think that I will permit you... " He was drawing himself up to full Elf Lord stature, chin held high.

"Oh, no, nothing like that, don't start worrying. I just want to burn the book." I walked back into my bedroom, picking Lord of the Rings up off the bed. "It's too dangerous to keep about. Can you imagine what would happen if it landed in the hands of Sauron, or one of his minions?"

Elrond seemed to consider what I had to say. "Then it shall be done. Though perhaps I disagree with such a course of action, it is your choice. There are those who wish to speak with you, not least of all my sons. Gandalf, as you may have heard him named, feels he must meet the mysterious stranger who appeared in our realm most unusually." The twinkle in his eyes told me he was joking with me, and I offered a small grin in return. "Now, I have business to attend to, then dinner to prepare for. I shall send Elladan or Elrohir up with your meal later in the afternoon. It may be your last opportunity to see them for a length of time, very soon they must away on an errand at my request."

After Elrond left, I returned to the balcony with my bag, spreading the contents out on the floor. I picked up my camera and switched it on, clicking through the photos saved on the memory card. I began crying quietly as I remembered the last moments with my family, my heart wrenching in complete sadness. I was going to miss them so much; and I knew I wouldn't be the same for a long time without them. I switched it off, unwilling to see anymore of the happy images and turned to my other belongings. I picked up Big Ted and hugged him to my chest, I could still smell my mother's perfume which I sprayed on him once week when I was at home. Packing the rest of my things away, including the summer pyjamas, I found a little contentment as I rested my head against the wall and fell asleep.

I was awoken quite unusually – I was being carried to my bed by someone rather tall, and I was very aware I was quite heavy.

"Meh." I moaned, squirming and looking up into a twin's face.

"You awaken." He said and placed me on the bed. "Feel well?" I nodded, shifting back onto the pillows. I patted the bed next to me and said twin shuffled back to sit next to me, his rather long legs reaching well beyond mine. "Short." He commented with a wicked grin.

I only knew one response to this – a swift poke in the ribs. "Which one?" I asked, and his eyebrow rose.

"Guess." He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Elrohir." I took a stab in the dark, thinking that it was a 50-50 chance in the end. He clapped and I was surprised to find I had it right. "Go me."

"Go you?" he questioned, and I tried to think of a simple way of putting it.

"Well done me." Elrohir nodded, and then we sat in silence for some time. "You are well?" I asked after a while.

He frowned. "Half." I smiled at his way of expressing his feelings.

"My language, 'kind of'." I told him, and he repeated it, playing with the words and saying it a few times. "Good." I said.

"Teach more." And so began the first English lesson between myself and Elrohir; the food he had brought lay on the bedside cabinet, completely forgotten.

**xxxXxxx**

"You should come out with brother and me – see Rivendell." He said after a few hours of language practice. The main difficulty had not been words but rather grammar and pronunciation, and we settled on compromises between both languages to create an understandable form for the both of us. It was nice to be able to talk with someone who didn't seem so _adult_, like Elrond obviously was. It seemed like I was talking to someone on my own level, and that was refreshing. It wasn't nearly so patronising and it was far easier to converse with him than I thought it would have been, it just seemed natural and there was no stilted moments. Any silences were not at all awkward and that made me feel a lot better about my situation.

"Do you want to view my family?" I asked him suddenly. He looked at me kindly and I collected my camera from the balcony. I turned it on as I sat back on the bed. "Ignore item, look." I pointed at the screen, letting him look closer at it. It was a picture of the twins, grinning cheekily as they stood in front of a window. Luckily there were no aeroplanes visible – I couldn't be bothered trying to explain how they worked.

"Victoria, Jade." I pointed each out.

"Twins also." He commented. "You know similarities." I nodded, guessing he meant I knew better than most what it was like.

"My sisters. Young, 16 in human years." I said. I clicked onto the next image. It was me and my mother taken by one of the twins. "Mother. Much I miss her." I said with a sad smile.

"Very similar, you and she." He commented and I took the camera off him.

"In appearance. Not so in personality." I got an idea as I looked at the camera. Tucking my hair behind my ears (overly sensitive to the point of painful and rather red, I'd noticed) I threw my arm around a surprised Elrohir. "Smile!" I announced and took a photograph. I grinned as I looked at the image. Elrohir's eyes were wide and he looked like he was about to suffer a heart attack, whilst I looked decidedly like I was about to do something either inappropriate or evil to the poor elf. If only I had a printer, it would be all around Rivendell before Elrohir knew what was going on.

"Let me view." He demanded in the best impression of Elrond he could muster, and I turned my nose up, flicked the camera off and moved to put it in the lockable drawer in the cabinet.

"No." I said sweetly, twisting the key that had previously hung on the mirror frame in the lock. Elrohir sulked for a moment before brightening. "You are much better, please come out tonight. Much time yet before the evening...meet?"

I snorted. "You sound like friends at my home. Always saying for me to go out." I looked around. It was later in the afternoon, but after all the sleeping I had done I wasn't tired. Just achy and sore. "Have you something to kill pain?"

Elrohir got off the bed and stood to face me, his expression moulded into one of concern. "You hurt? Why did you not announce this sooner? I shall return in but a moment." He frowned at me and then left the room. I groaned and changed into some of the clothes the maid had brought me the day before, and I twirled about in the pretty dress. It was a pale green, simple gown that looked very similar to the one I had worn on my first day here, but it was much finer, more intricate and very light to wear. However, there was still the matter of shoes. I didn't fancy wearing the same pretty but non-matching shoes again, as they were starting to pinch at my toes. I couldn't complain, at least I _had _clothes and shoes to worry about.

I began humming as I waited for Elrohir to come back with a pain reliever. I was bored, there was nothing for it... and I was music deprived. I didn't want to use my MP3 player for fear of the batteries running out, so I decided that singing was the only thing.

I made my way through a few songs, mostly choir songs that I'd learnt at university, including the mighty Carmina Burana movement "O Fortuna." I loved the Latin and it was ironic that, just as the writer of the poem, I was in the hands of fate and was waiting for the wheel to tell me where I was going next. I pointedly ignored that the song was mostly about gambling.

I stopped my random singing as Elrohir opened the door after a brief knock. "For your pain." He said, signalling for me to drink it. "You sang well. A strange tongue."

"A dead language. Unused." I explained at his confused expression at the term "dead language". I examined the little glass vial, checking it wasn't going to taste foul. It had no scent so I couldn't determine if it would make me feel worse. However, the goblet Elrohir still held, and his amused expression gave me the gist that it wouldn't be pleasant. "Bottoms up." I said ruefully and poured the liquid down.

It tasted funny, but not overly disgusting. Like liquorice and cloves and other stuff I couldn't name.

The pain relief was almost instant. It felt like someone had cracked an egg over my head, and streams dripped invisibly through my muscles, easing the pain and tension that had built up there. The only part of my body I still felt any severe sensitivity was on my ears, but that I could handle. I would simply tuck my hair behind my ears so it wouldn't rub.

Elrohir handed me the goblet and I drank its contents. It gave me a pleasant shiver, and I felt my muscles rejuvenate and the weariness I had felt leave me. The sickness had all but gone, a slight queasiness still resting in the very pit of my stomach. I jumped around in circles to test the level of the nausea, because if my stomach could handle being thrown about it could handle food, drink and activity.

"Ah, all is right in the body of Benny." I grinned, but Elrohir didn't seem to get the use of 3rd person "It matters not." I waved a hand dismissively. "Where?"

"The gardens? It is not yet dark." Elrohir offered me his arm and I took it, bouncing energetically.

"Gardens are a good start." I said, and we left my room, after spending far too much time there for my tastes.

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**I hope you enjoyed. Thank you to all the lovely people who are adding me to favourites, and reviewing. It really makes my day!**


	5. The First Steps Are The Toughest

**Hi everyone! **

**Apologies for the delay. This should have been up a few days ago but real life got in the way, as it does! It's a bit of an epic, so I hope you like it! **

**Also, there are some song lyrics in here, which I don't usually make a habit of but honestly the song in question is genuinely beautiful. If anyone is so inclined, search for Loch Lomond by The Corries - it's one of my favourite versions. **

**As always, not mine. Though I'd love a Hobbit. **

**MM-x**

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We met Elladan in the gardens, the oh-so-pretty gardens. I became very quickly enamoured with a particular spot; a tree surrounded by honeysuckle plants, (which were, truthfully, using it as a trellis) and plenty of other sweet smelling flowers. I felt so at peace here, like nothing could go wrong; and even if it did, I wouldn't care. Despite the time of year it was still quite warm, as if Rivendell had its own microclimate.

I had forgotten, however, that I had only spent the time teaching Elrohir our mangled version of English. Elladan soon became very confused with the mixed language we had produced. Elrohir realised quite quickly though, so acted a translator and slowly we began to communicate. We'd talked about a lot, a bit about my home – very rough details, mind – and I'd had a bit of a history lesson on the forming of the world, though we hadn't gone much further once I plonked myself under the tree in the little garden and named it my home.

"No, I'm not moving. You can't make me. I'll sleep under this tree, I've done it before! _Hey_, stop that! Elladan, save me, _Elladan_! Elrohir, I can't fight two of you... AAAHHHHHH!" I had been unceremoniously picked up off the floor and was now being carried by both Elladan and Elrohir (one holding my legs and one holding my arms) away from the area. I held my eyes tightly closed and continued to make a bit of a racket with the twins laughing at me, until I heard a polite cough. Elrohir dropped my feet and Elladan gave me an apologetic smile as he helped me to stand, before I turned to look at the throat-clearer.

The twins spoke to him in elvish, greeting him as Mithrandir and then making a hasty exit.

"Farewell, 'til later." Elrohir promised me and then left me alone in the gardens with Gandalf.

"Well, that was an interesting sight, I must say." The wizard said absently. "You, I gather, are our resident time traveller: Bernadette. I welcome you to Middle Earth, and I am Gandalf the Grey... though I have a feeling you already knew that." He came closer, bowing. He looked me up and down, as if checking for something. "Good, very good." He said to himself.

"Yeah, I know you. Well, I guess I should say I know _of _you, not you personally. The only people I really know here are the twins. And anyway, how can you speak my lovely little language?" I said.

Gandalf laughed. "My dear, there are many creatures in Middle Earth that can wield magic. I can play the same tricks with my staff that Elrond plays with his ring – and many more besides."

"So if I was to ask you to make me be able to speak Elvish, could you do it?" I asked, eager to just give up with the language barrier.

"I expect that I could, but for the moment I will not. If it is required, I shall." I sulked for a moment, the grumbling under my breath earning a chuckle from Gandalf.

"So, break it to me gently. I'm not going anywhere, am I?" I sighed as he shook his head.

"No you are not; this is your home now, for better or for worse. Indeed, I think Middle Earth is your real home, and the place in which you lived was merely a stay house along the way. Come, let us find a seat! I would like to hear your tale as a first-hand account; I am sure Lord Elrond was not as thorough as you in his explanation."

We walked through the gardens, finding a wooden bench some way away from the house. "So I gather you know how fate shall play out in Middle Earth." I nodded. "That could be a great help or a great hindrance."

I shrugged. "It's not like I intend to tell anyone about what I know, so in that sense you don't have to worry about me. I just think I need to be out of sight, so that I'm out of mind, you know? I just don't trust myself not to get involved, especially if I get attached. Starting, like, soon. Very, very soon. Whenever Frodo arrives I need to be thinking about leaving, that week if possible."

"A fair decision, then. Lord Glorfindel rode out last week, to meet them and so should return within the next two days. Around this time, I imagine." He looked around at the sky, which was becoming blacker. "I myself only arrived this morning. Delays and more delays keep me, I fear that Elrond was displeased." He sighed. "I will not ask you what you know; however if I were to ask you provisionally whether you would attend a gathering, a meeting of sorts, would you come as an aid?"

I shook my head. "No. I shouldn't be involved directly in any of this." I stretched my arms, looking up at the stars which had begun to twinkle faintly. "I mean, I'd love to do it, to prevent some things that are going to happen and encourage others, but surely you can see that it would cause massive implications? I know fate is a big thing here so I don't want to play with it."

"Child, I was not challenging you! It was an offer, nothing more. Now, tell me everything you can remember about your journey here, and about your home."

I groaned and rubbed my eyes; this was going to be a long night.

Gandalf, after our talk, walked me back to my room and said goodnight. I pushed my door open, and I was surprised to see someone standing on my balcony – a twin from the looks of things, probably Elladan demanding English lessons.

"Hello?" I said, and the person turned around. I smiled – I was right; well, he was a twin at least. "Elladan?"

"Elrohir." He corrected me with a dry smile. "You shall learn."

"Eventually. What do you need?" I sat on the edge of my bed, and Elrohir stepped into the room and sat next to me.

"I leave tomorrow – an errand for father. I came to say farewell." He looked at me with a funny expression on his face.

"Oh." I remembered Elrond saying something about this being the last time I would see them for a time. "I shall miss you." It was true – I would lose the grand total of 2 friends I had made in the last couple of days here. Besides that, I liked the twins. They reminded me of my sisters; it must have been a twin thing.

"I shall miss you too, Benny." I smiled at him sadly as I realised he had remembered my earlier comment about my name. I walked onto the balcony, the dress I wore blowing in the breeze – it was quite cool tonight. I rested my elbows on the balcony railing and put my head in my hands, looking out into the darkness.

"Benny, I will be back soon." He assured me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

"I will not. I leave soon – to Lothlorien or Mirkwood; I have to be out of the way of major events."

"It is hard to see you as from anywhere but here." Elrohir commented, taking up the same position as me. "You ... fit?" I laughed out loud, my eyes creasing at the corners.

"I wish I did, Elrohir, I really wish I did fit. I still feel human, not Elven. I do not think I will ever feel right." I stood straight, and jumped a little as Elrohir gave me an unexpected hug.

"You shall, one day. But, very little is different." He told the top of my head.

"Hmm. So growing, stronger senses, and living _forever?_ That's not very different? I mean, its not like I'm going to be completely alone is it? No, I'm going to be fantastically happy _living forever with no bloody friends_!" I was ranting and subconsciously I knew Elrohir wouldn't have a clue what I was saying, but I was also aware I needed to get it out; to vent my frustration.

I tried to pull away from him, to get away before I hit him, but he wouldn't let go of me. I began to thump his chest, trying to force myself away, but he was having none of it and held me all the tighter. "Shh, calm your anger, shh ... " he stroked my hair, and that broke me. I never felt, in my life, more thankful for someone than I did for Elrohir as he rocked me steadily; holding me as my tears broke loose, as I cried uncontrollably for an unknown length of time. I felt, for that moment, like I was home with my mum as she held me after a nasty break-up or after I'd had a really bad argument with someone.

When I had calmed Elrohir stepped back to look at me, a little worried, but as I gave him a teary smile he relaxed.

"Sorry. Better now. I'm just ... bed." I mumbled, letting him lead me inside. I flopped onto my bed pathetically, crawling up to the pillow and snuggling on my side. Elrohir dropped down onto his knees at the side of my bed, looking at me like an older brother would at his younger sister or as a father to his child.

"No more tears this night?" I shook my head.

"No more." I promised him, sighing.

"Good. And you are alone not – you have Elladan and I, at the very least. Rest well." He said to me, giving my hand a quick squeeze. "No need to be sorry."

"Thank you, then." I said, closing my eyes. After a few moments he left, closing the door quietly behind him. After I was sure he was gone I sat up and looked out at the sky, not really seeing anything, but just looking all the same. I think I spent a long time just looking out at nothing and at some point I must have fallen asleep, because when I came back to reality I was laid out on my bed and the sun had already risen.

**xxxXxxx**

After a day of simply resting, I was called to Lord Elrond's study to discuss what was going to be done about my situation, and how well I was coping.

"So, you think it would be best if you were to travel to Lothlorien? You are sure, then, that you will cause no interference there?" Lord Elrond sat behind his desk, his fingertips pressed together to form a triangular shape.

I nodded. "There is very little damage I can do there. Any important people I will come across will be about for a maximum of 2 months, or thereabouts depending on if I have my dates right and people coming and going. So, out of anywhere I could possibly go it seemed like the safest, most logical option. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but surely it's better for me to be there than, say, Mirkwood, Rohan or Gondor?" I asked, feeling like I was being interrogated by the headmaster at school.

"I agree to this proposal, and I do not contradict your logic, but I am at a loss as to who to send with you. Both of my sons are on an errand for me that they cannot reasonably be brought back from, and many of my other elves I need here for the time being ... " He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose I could ask ... yes, that will do well." He stood from behind his desk, indicating for me to do so too. "Providing Glorfindel arrives back today with my guests, one week hence the two of you will depart to Lothlorien. If he does not, I shall ensure you leave in reasonable time."

"Thank you." I said as he led me out of his study. "It really is the best thing. Just keep me out of the way." I joked a little.

"I'm very sure. However I will not have you 'out of the way' whilst you remain here. You have been long enough hidden from the residents of Rivendell, and I would have them meet you this evening. I shall introduce you first to Arwen, so you are not so solitary; you seemed to get on well enough with my sons and I daresay a little female company would do you no harm. You will then come to dinner with her, and afterwards the Hall of Fire. I have heard from Elrohir you are somewhat of a singer."

I gulped. "Uh, I'm not so sure that's a good idea, I mean I'll come, but I won't sing. I don't usually sing on my own, and I don't have the world's best voice." I fidgeted with the sleeve of my dress.

"I shall leave that, of course, up to you, but I would make it a request that you at least sing to one or two elves so they may listen freely. We are always a harsh judge upon ourselves; we all have our own image of what we want to be, and that is good, but it is not so if your confidence is so innately affected. This is a trait I have seen particularly among Men; with such a short life-span in comparison to that of Elven-kind there is little time to build on skill. Everything is rushed, everything forced along to get the most out of the life they have."

He stood at the door for a moment, as if listening to something elsewhere. "I would have you remember you are no longer a human – you have more time to develop the natural ability you have been granted. Take this as a gift, all things gets better with time."

I left his study deep in thought. He had been right, of course. The nature of Mankind was to push and push, to see as much as you can before you die. To me, 80, even 90 years seemed like one hell of a long time, so how would thousands feel?

After taking a slow walk back to my room and collecting one of the other books I had brought, I wandered about the halls aimlessly until I found a way outside; this turned out to be the courtyard I could see from my room window. It wasn't the widest of areas and was the most direct route into the gardens the twins had shown me previously – and it being only the night before I hadn't had chance to totally forget where I'd gone in the first place.

The gardens were different in the daylight, and I examined the different flowers more closely, smelling each individual scent as part of a whole. The path was a mixture of well trodden earth and stone, the edges shining and glittering as the sun bounced off luminous flecks in the chips of rock, and it wound snake-like forward and led off in many directions. As I walked I saw that in places there were benches with overhanging trees, areas of wilder grass and meadow flowers, and gardens with ornate statues and fountains. It was one of the fountains that caught my attention. The garden was partitioned off from many others with a sort of hawthorn bush, quite tall, the grass was neat and the pathways leading to and surrounding the fountain were paved in glittering stone rather than left as trodden earth.

I'd spent hours sat there, engrossed in my book and enjoying the mild autumn weather when it dawned on me I couldn't actually read the text of my book anymore; somehow I'd spent the whole day sitting in the garden, reading. My backside, I realised, had gone completely numb, but as I stood the tension eased and I stretched out, looking around me.

"Oooh, I'm going to have pissed Elrond off ... " I murmured and started back in the direction I had come, mentally preparing myself for an absolute arse kicking. However, as I returned to the courtyard it was very empty except two horses, one grey and one dark brown.

Now, I love horses, I really do; I think they're beautiful, intelligent creatures... but I do not like horses that are a lot, lot bigger than me. And by a lot bigger, I mean that the grey one could have easily kicked me in the middle without too much effort. That slightly concerned me as it approached me with a curious expression – if that's what you could call it – making me freeze in place.

"Uh... " I looked around me and started to back up, not breaking eye contact with the horse. "Nice horsey, I wont hurt you, I'm just going to go now... " And I promptly ran into a chest. "Oh, bollocks, I'm sorry ... "

I stepped back and looked up at the face belonging to the torso of whoever I collided with, and stopped. He was tall, taller than Elrond, and his hair was dark. I suspected in some lights, like this twilight, it would almost be black. Bright, and I mean _bright _blue eyes looked at me with a twinkle of humour. At this, I decided he was another dashing elf.

He began speaking to me in Elvish and I just waved my hand, signalling I didn't understand. At this he tried Westron, but I could only understand the odd word here and there.

"Stop." I said. "No understanding."

"Ah." Was the only response I got, before the elf promptly took my arm in his, and led me away from the courtyard.

_Nice... _I thought, rolling my eyes. _Not only is Lord Elrond going to eat me for disappearing all day, but he's going to have me for bringing home strange Elves. He's worse than my mother._

**xxxXxxx**

I sat, cringing, as I was promptly chewed out by Elrond for disappearing all day without telling anyone where I was going.

"Um, its not like I _can_ tell anyone. There's that little thing, you know, that language thing? I can't speak Elvish!" I said, a little annoyed. "If Gandalf would just wave his magic staff and let me speak your way, not my way, then everything would be absolutely fine. As it stands, I'm the one speaking the alien language." I pointed at Gandalf, who stood in the corner of the room. He just looked back at me, all innocence.

Elrond glowered at me. "You could have told me or Gandalf. However, you decided you would go wandering around with the distinct possibility of getting completely lost. You were lucky Prince Legolas found you when he did, for I would have come out to look for you myself, and that would not have been the most pleasant experience."

My eyebrows shot up at that, and I looked at the dark-haired elf that stood by the fire. He bowed to me, and then returned to watching the flames thoughtfully. He didn't look like the film portrayal of his character, so I assumed we were following what I knew to be the 'book' sequence of events; that was only to be taken as a very good thing.

"Joyous, rescued by Legolas. Bang goes the avoiding people plan." I said under my breath, more to myself than anyone else. "Sir, I genuinely thought you would have been busy today, so I thought it might be a good idea to stay out of everyone's hair for a while. I'm sorry if my judgement was off, I just wanted to keep to myself rather than bother everyone else."

Elrond looked sour. "Be that as it may, I would have preferred you around than not. I would have liked to know, for example, the extent of Frodo's injuries beforehand. That cannot be helped now, and _luckily_," He glared at me darkly, "He will be fine in a few days."

"I can tell you when he'll come around, if you'd like." I said brightly, earning another glare. "Okay, maybe not. Look, I didn't mean to do any harm and as far as I can see, I haven't. I'm sorry, I appreciate how worried you must have been."

Elrond stood and went over to Legolas, speaking to him in Elvish for a time. I heard my name mentioned _in full_ several times before it began to bother me. "It's rude to talk about someone whilst they're in the room when they don't know what the fuck you're saying." I muttered darkly, staring pointedly at the two talking.

Elrond just raised an eyebrow at me. "I do not think you are in any position to scold others about being rude, Bernadette, considering some of the language that flies from your mouth. I would have you control that whilst you stay here, your swearing rivals that of Gondorian men in an alehouse. You are neither a man, Gondorian, or in an alehouse so _please_ have a degree of decorum."

He went back to his conversation, leaving me stunned. "Fine then. If you insist that I must control the language, I won't let you hear it. So, please excuse me whilst I go to my room and swear to my heart's content."

I walked out with my head held high and headed straight to my room, put my head in a pillow and screamed, kicking my legs on the bed and letting out all of my anger and annoyance. Now, I know this possibly wasn't the most mature option to take, but I was having a childish moment and I was frustrated. Usually when frustrated I would grab my saxophone or clarinet and play my heart out until I felt better, but being stuck here without my music meant I didn't have many other ways to express myself. The raw vocal energy was therapeutic in its own way, so I let everything out.

I heard a gentle knock at the door. I sat up and brushed all my hair out of my face, and answered for the person at the other side to enter.

"Bernadette." I looked up and felt relief spread through my stomach. I had thought that Lord Elrond would send Legolas after me, but thankfully he had sent Arwen, as he had promised earlier in the day. I stood and bowed my head respectfully, earning a gentle laugh. She pulled up my chin and looked into my eyes for a moment, and then smiled at me.

"My Father wishes you to attend tonight." She said, as if testing the words to see if they made sense. "I have come to learn you."

I grinned. "Learn _about_ you." I corrected. "Please, call me Benny."

"Benny." She said, but frowned. "No, I shall name like my father, Bernadette. Come with me."

**xxxXxxx**

I stood at the very big, heavy looking wooden doors that led to the hall of fire. I fidgeted with the hem of my sleeve, only earning a slap on the hand from Arwen.

"You shall do damage. Leave it be." She scolded, but with an amused air about her. "Calm yourself."

I took a deep breath and dropped my arms, swinging them from side to side. "Sorry." I muttered, and then promptly began to chew my nails.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly what you'd call shy; I had a lot of confidence when it comes to meeting people for the first time. I would normally tone down my slightly twisted sense of humour but I didn't exactly hide who I was. The only problem here was that I _wasn't _myself – I didn't really even know who I was anymore. I felt awkward in the Elven dresses; and as beautiful as they may be, I didn't feel comfortable with the circlet and the flowers in my hair. I had point blank refused to take out my lip ring, but changed it for a small silver stud with a little diamond; what everyone at home had called my going-out stud.

Arwen cleared her throat suggestively and I dropped my hand, looking up. A large group of elves, along with Elrond, Gandalf and Legolas, were coming down the top of the main stairway. She greeted her father with a hug and then curtsied politely to Gandalf and Legolas; I just curtsied to all three, keeping my head well down.

Elrond spoke to the elves before opening up the doors to the Hall of Fire, which was, in essence, a very large hall with very squishy chairs and a very, very, very big fireplace, with no other natural light. Being a little bit of a pyromaniac but mostly because I was cold, I found a corner near the fire whereupon I proceeded to hide and stare at the flames.

"Bernadette, I trust you are of a calmer disposition." Elrond sat next to me. "I invite you to join us here, and yet you keep yourself to yourself. Come, I will introduce you to some newcomers; I am sure you know who they are," he beckoned me to follow him over to the hobbits.

I know I vowed to keep out of their way. I know I did, and I'm not usually one to go back on that sort of promise to myself. However, I'd already run into Legolas quite forcefully so I figured that chatting, well, attempting to chat with hobbits wouldn't do much real damage.

It took a good while before we could hold somewhat of a conversation. We talked about the Shire and food and a little about my home, though slightly less about that. I even dared a little bit of a quiet folk song; however that proved to be a mistake. My voice felt different to use, and it was most certainly higher. It was easier by far to produce the notes, but somewhat annoyingly the level of support from my diaphragm seemed to be much lower. That, I realised, would need some work.

"I hear a voice in song. Could it be Lady Bernadette?" Gandalf chuckled, and spoke to the hobbits for a moment, and they were nodding in unison. "Well, Bernadette, it seems a song is required of you. The hobbits deem you worthy of it, at any rate."

"No thanks." I said dryly. "I've had this conversation with Lord Elrond, and I said no singing when lots and lots of people can here me. A few I don't mind." I indicated the hobbits. "But no more, really. I'm not a fan of my own voice."

"Well, I would listen, and I am sure Arwen and Elrond would enjoy the full song you sang to the hobbits. It would do you no end of good too, I shouldn't wonder!" He spoke to them again, and as quick as he moved away I was grabbed by a hobbit, Merry on my left, Sam on my right, and Pippin firmly planted on my feet.

"Pardon, Miss, but we've not to let you go till you've sung." Sam said cheerfully.

"And you don't argue with a wizard." Pippin said wisely from the floor.

"Sure." I said sarcastically. I waited for about 10 minutes like this before Elrond and a few others came to relieve me of the hobbits – the price being a song.

"Well, I suppose I don't have much choice." I said, resigned to my fate – humiliated in front of elves. I turned to Elrond. "You might not be able to understand this very well, its in a different dialect to the language I use, though it is the same. It's a folk song from a country called Scotland, it makes up part of my island. I sang some of it for the hobbits and they liked it so ... "

I stood after Pippin happily removed himself from my feet and I cleared my throat. "Um, have you got something I could drink?" as quick as I'd said it, a hobbit had gone and come back again with a glass. I sipped the contents and almost spat it out. "I was thinking water, not alcohol."

Merry shrugged. "It was all they had."

I took a few more sips and put the glass on the floor. I hummed about to find my starting note, and took a deep, calming breath. I quickly tried a couple of the Scottish accented words spoken, and, happy I had it down, began to sing.

"_By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes, Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond  
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae, On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond._

_O ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scotland afore ye.  
But me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond._

'_Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen, On the steep, steep side o' Ben Lomond.  
Where in deep purple hue, the hieland hills we view, And the moon comin' out in the gloamin'._

_O ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scotland afore ye.  
But me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond._

_The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring, And in sunshine the waters are sleeping:  
But the broken heart, it kens nae second spring again, Tho' the waefu' may cease from their greeting._

_O ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scotland afore ye.  
But me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond."_

I hadn't realised I had my eyes closed, and when I'd opened them a small crowd had gathered. I went bright red and sank further back into my chair, picked up my glass and took a drink. The applause began as a quiet ripple that grew, and I realised that had been listening. Not just the people around me but everyone in the hall.

" _No!" _I moaned, burying my head in my hands to hide my red face.

"Well, it seems that you have pleased my elves." Elrond said and I looked up, almost in tears. He knelt in concern, looking at me. "Why are these tears threatening? You have a perfectly good voice, as I expected."

"Because everyone was listening - I'm embarrassed!" I hissed, but Elrond only smiled at me.

"We are always harsher judges upon ourselves, I have said this before. Now, Bernadette, come and have another drink – I will have you singing again before the end of the night, I hope." I got up on shaky legs and started to follow Elrond through the crowd.

He didn't get me to sing again, much to my relief, and I met Glorfindel – the Elf who was going to be taking me to Lothlorien in a few days time. He was a very cheerful person, I'd decided within a few minutes of our meeting. We would be leaving sooner than I'd planned, in a few days, because Lord Elrond needed him back a few days earlier than he had anticipated. Probably because he'd received his hobbits sooner than anticipated.

I'd also met Legolas again, who was entirely charming even when he had no idea what I was saying to him. For all he knew I could be calling him a troll, or telling him he had a face mutilation or something, but I wasn't. I had a halting conversation with Aragorn who was trying to milk out as much information from me as possible about what I knew.

"Find me in Lothlorien if you think you need to know. And," I said, feeling suddenly sad that I couldn't forewarn him about Gandalf. As miserable as he was on occasion, I quite liked the old man. "I'm sorry I can't tell you. I wish I could."

I went to bed feeling good – the first time since I'd come to Middle earth I was really in a good mood. This only had to be a good thing as I didn't want my life here to be completely miserable. I hated to admit it, but singing had left me feeling better – freer and happier with myself.

I undressed and put on my nightgown. I was fighting for about half an hour trying to untangle flowers from my hair, and eventually I just took my brush to it, pulling them out by force. I crawled into bed feeling slightly light-headed as the alcohol was taking a little bit of an effect, and I tucked myself up for one of my last sound sleeps in Rivendell. I was going to miss this place.

* * *

**Hope you liked! Please review, it gives every author the warm and fuzzies. See you soon!**


	6. Horses in Autumn

**Hello everyone! **

**Small delay, my apologies. My little sisters turned 21 yesterday so I was celebrating in style with them! Well, after I got over feeling awfully old. ****We're starting to move a little now. I'd just like to remind everyone of the rating, this is mostly for language so don't say I didn't warn you. **

**Lots of love, and reviews always welcome, **

**MM-x**

* * *

"So let me get this straight. I'm putting _my_ head on your staff, you're putting _your_ head on your staff. Then, you're going to complete a spell, I have to repeat it, and I'll know as much Elvish as you do?" I looked at Gandalf with my eyebrows raised. "Somehow that doesn't make sense, physically speaking. There's a barrier between the two surfaces, so how can information pass through? I mean, wood doesn't even conduct that sort of energy."

Gandalf just passed an irritated glance in my direction as he flipped through a book in the library. "Magic, child, passes through any substance – it is a force in itself. At any rate, my staff is a conductor of magic and controls how much can be used; the way Elrond uses his ring. If we were to initiate with skin to skin contact with no form of safety barrier, it could cause serious mental damage. And you do not have to repeat the words, you would have a hard time pronouncing them to start with." He placed the book back in its position and grasped his staff firmly.

I blinked. I had just been chewed out by _Gandalf _for talking about science. The girl who came from a technologically advanced time and was taught about science at school had just got a bollocking. "Now, excuse me, but I was just saying that physically ... "

Gandalf stopped his movements and leaned on his staff wearily. "Child, stop thinking about it. Even I do not understand the full power magic has, and I have wielded it for thousands of years; it will do you no good to try and muddle your way through the whys and wherefores of the matter. Now." He approached me, a small frown etching his wrinkles deeper into his skin. "I am unsure whether this should be painful or not, so I know not how to warn you of any more unpleasant effects. I expect you will feel confused with the two tongues for a time, a few hours perhaps. I should think it will be a tiring exercise for a young mind, being unused to hundreds of years of learning and development."

At this point I had to protest. "I'm not stupid, you know, I mean I've spent the last, what? 16 years learning, 5 out of 7 days a week ... " I was cut off by a chuckle. "It's not funny!" I insisted, but all Gandalf did was smile at me in a bemused, looking-at-a-cute-child sort of way.

"My dear, I was commenting on your age, not your mental capacity to learn. You are but a child here, where those of your kind do not reach maturity till 50 years old, at least. However, you were human, and in that respect I suppose you are already an elven 50, maybe older. It is such an unusual circumstance, and you have been gone for so many hundreds of years..." He pondered for a moment, and then shook himself from his thoughts. "No matter, that is a question for when philosophical thought is given its own time and merit. _We_ have more important things to do. I think it may be best if we sit down for a moment or two to prevent any accidents. Come!" He moved and led me to a chair, pushing another to face directly opposite.

"Lean forward." He muttered, pressing his head to the staff. I haltingly did the same and felt a warm tingle where the wood touched my skin. "Relax." His voice was low and I forced the tension out of my shoulders and pushed out of my mind any defensive thoughts, any barriers. I felt a gentle pushing and a wave of heat and light followed. Gandalf said words, but I couldn't hear them; my senses were filled with light and heat. Then all I could feel and sense were thousands of words, phrases that I didn't understand became clear. I felt myself drifting into a state of wonder as words of love, of beauty, of power and of strength passed into my mind, a whole new language forming inside my head.

And then the pain began. It began as a small stab every now and then, building unnoticeably for minutes before rising in a crescendo of searing pain that almost made me wrench my head away from the staff. It was only Gandalf's cry that made me stay, and then I was aware of cool tears running down my face, of air and of the chair I was sat in. I felt thrown back into my body from another place, and without warning I felt my stomach heave as it tried to force me to be sick. I gagged, struggling to prevent the bile from leaving my body, and after a few moments of gasping and straining I calmed my body's reactions enough to sit up straight. The room was spinning as I tried to focus on Gandalf. He was sat bolt upright, looking at me with concern, true, but there was barely concealed amusement in his eyes.

"How do you feel?" He asked me. I tried to speak but I couldn't formulate the words. What language was he speaking in?

"I feel ... rough ... ?" I started to speak, and he looked at me, his head tilted to one side. I coughed, sending shooting pains into my skull. "My head." I moaned, holding my head between my hands and dropping it onto my knees.

"How strange." He murmured, and reached out with his fingers to touch my temples. The pain eased, though I still felt sick and shaky from the overwhelming volume of information I needed to sort through. "Better?"

"The pain is gone now." I agreed, and then frowned at the _poshness_ of my speech. "Hmm ... I sound so serious!" The words I spoke suddenly felt harsh on my tongue, guttural in my throat.

"Ah, it seems you are confusing your two languages!" Gandalf said jovially. I blinked rapidly, a little confused. More than a little confused. "I want you to speak in Sindarin, Bernadette, if you please. Do you understand me?" I nodded.

I opened my mouth, and then shut it. I wasn't sure how to differentiate between the two languages inside my head, they both sounded like English to me. As I muddled through, I realised one was softer and one was harsher. I opted for the softer one being right.

"I'm not sure which language is which; in my mind they sound the same." I said, testing the words cautiously. Gandalf gave me an encouraging smile. "This is the right language? It feels so strange – like singing in Latin or speaking in Spanish." Latin and Spanish felt different as I spoke – they clearly were not the same language.

"Good. Now, I want you to speak in your own tongue; this is just for experiment's sake, you understand."

"Um, okay, I guess. This is so strange... I'm bilingual!" I grinned, the words felt less natural to me, but they were there. "English doesn't feel as right to speak, but it's still well embedded in my head."

"Enough of that, we shall return to Sindarin. It will feel strange for a time, but then your mother tongue will find itself sitting more comfortably. I feel it will need use to keep it there, like any language learned, but as long as you speak it on occasion it should remain. However if you feel so inclined to loose it, which I somehow doubt," There was a twinkle in his eye as he spoke. "Then I think if you were to cease speaking in it, it would disappear all together."

"You're right, I wouldn't do that." I found the abbreviations came easier to me, I felt the more colloquial tone of the language as the words arranged themselves in my mind. "It is the only thing, except my belongings, that remind me of home." I sighed a little, and then another wave of sickness and dizziness took me. "I think I want to go to my room, I need to sleep for a while."

Gandalf stood slowly, and then looked me over critically. "You are too pale, even for your colouring, and your eyes betray weariness and a little pain. Maybe it is best you eat something before retiring." The thought of food turned my stomach, and I shook my head before gagging again. "Or maybe not. I shall find someone to escort you to your room, as I do not know it's location and I do not think you could find it sufficiently on your own before collapsing. I shall be back in a moment." He walked out of Elrond's study, where we had been granted the space needed. I relaxed back into the chair, the room spinning in one moment and standing still the next. I raised a hand to my forehead – clammy and cool. Just what I needed.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the darkness; the room didn't spin when I was like this. I began to sort through the words in my head, trying to hear them as others did, not in English. I tried to figure out the swear words for future use, and grinned as I figured they weren't much different. Anyway, I could always use my own language in Lothlorien, where no-one would have a clue what I was saying. I grinned sleepily, my eyes still closed – the only disturbance was the daydream-like walk to my room with Arwen, who tucked me into my bed before I fell asleep completely.

**xxxXxxx**

I stood in my travelling gear, the tight green leggings covered to my knees with the thick pale green tunic which was split up the side and belted at the waist. It had been a bit of a fight to wear this instead of a dress, and it was hurriedly made but beautiful all the same. The fit was good – not too tight but well structured, and the leggings were tight enough. It had been custom made and fitted for me because I was the only one of all the female elves in Rivendell to have had the cultural upbringing I did, and so weren't about to wear trousers like me. And none had the body I did, I was unique in that aspect. Whilst slimmer than before because of the height gain I was still generously curvy everywhere, and so male tunics never seemed to fit.

My hair had grown, I noted in annoyance, more than it ever did in a year. The rich black colour was starting blend to a mixture of the deep black dye and mahogany highlights, the way it reacted with the natural blonde of my hair. Yet I was confused as to why I didn't have roots coming through. I wondered if it was something to do with being dumped in Rivendell where they were all dark-haired, or if it had something to do with my dad, whom Elrond hinted at regularly but never explained anything. I noticed his secret, amused smile at my tantrums when he wouldn't tell me what he meant, and that bugged me. It was like he knew a lot I didn't, which was true enough, but did he have to be so _smug_ about it? _You shall find out in time_ he said. Yeah, sure I would, when I throttled it out of him.

I met Glorfindel outside in the courtyard and was handed a golden mare – whose name I couldn't pronounce so promptly I forgot within minutes. I was more focused on the fact she was quite tall and looked very strong, and her eyes made me just that bit fearful. Lord Elrond greeted us, and came to say his farewells, handing us each a small packet of _lembas_ bread, should we need it. Glorfindel had food enough for the journey and could hunt, so I wasn't worried about starving. Aragorn skulked behind him, and I knew he was going to try and pester me again for information. I said goodbye to Elrond, who returned it, and instinctively I hugged him before stepping back and looking at my horse.

"Um, how am I going to... " I motioned in an upward manner at the horse.

"I have a mounting block over there." Elrond chuckled and pointed across the courtyard to a shaped tree stump, "For Arwen is not a graceful mount. I trust the ride will be comfortable. Farewell."

My mount was so ungraceful that I nearly fell off the other side of the mare. I steadied myself in the saddle – I insisted I wouldn't ride bareback because I couldn't ride at all, and was given a crash course in riding whilst Elrond stood and laughed as I struggled to get the horse to do what I said.

Within a few hours of travelling, I knew horseback wasn't for me. Though the horse I rode was pleasant and steady I didn't really enjoy it; I would much rather walked to Lothlorien. When I voiced my opinion, Lord Glorfindel just laughed at me and told me I wouldn't have preferred the blisters and extra time it would take. Whilst the scenery was pretty, it wasn't the most pleasant time to be travelling, and autumn rain came in showers throughout our first day of riding ... The second not being much better, though I could clearly see a mountain range in the distance, coming ever closer. I was surprised that I hadn't noticed them before.

"The rain clouded them from sight." Glorfindel supplied. "We shall camp near the base of the Mountains this evening, and tomorrow we shall take the high pass. It will have to be a harder ride than these last two days to pass over the mountains before nightfall tomorrow. We will then turn south, and our journey shall have us reach Lorien from the north." Glorfindel outlined roughly our journey as we rode onwards at a steady pace

"Fine." I said, slightly distracted. Although Gandalf had grudgingly given me the ability to understand and speak Sindarin, I found I had very little I wanted to say. I missed music, and it was something that my Mp3 player couldn't fix – I desperately wished to pick up an instrument and play, my fingers itched. I wanted to hold a clarinet, saxophone or flute; hell, even a recorder would help reduce the musical withdrawal. However, all I had at my disposal was my voice and hundreds of songs in my head, and that would have to do.

As Glorfindel set up the camp and started a small fire, I wandered a little further away. I looked up and the mountains, tall and imposing above me, and then I let my gaze reach up to the twinkling stars. I realised with a jolt they were almost exactly the same as at home, and that gave me a strange sort of comfort. Some things were still the same.

I fished around in my memory for something fitting to sing. "When the night has come, and the land is dark; and the moon is the only light we'll see ... " I began, closing my eyes. Nothing like a classic pop song to bring a bit of life to an otherwise boring journey. I took a deep breath, opening my eyes again. I already felt less lethargic and more talkative.

"Do not stop." I heard a soft vice call from behind me. I turned around, surprised to see Lord Glorfindel standing a short distance away, listening. "Please, do not stop your song on my account." He offered me an encouraging smile. "You have a pleasant voice."

"I cant remember the rest of the words." I admitted, embarrassed. "Thank you for saying I could sing well. Only the people in my choir at home ever told me I had a nice voice."

"Then those who told you that you could not sing were indeed liars. Elves as a race love music, and we appreciate talent when we hear it, and you will hear much singing in Lothlorien. Sing something else." I thought through what I could possibly sing to this Elf-Lord that he would enjoy. I decided on a classic.

"Got it. You wont understand a word of it, all you'll understand sound." I promised.

"I think I shall risk it." He said dryly. "Stop avoiding the issue and sing."

I cleared my throat and found my starting key and note, humming arpeggios to make sure I could reach the higher notes. I settled on my song – it was purely selfish, but I remembered it had brought me strength after my father had died. I needed to find a little bit of that same strength to drag myself through the next few months alone. "When I am down, and oh, my soul's so weary; when troubles come, and my heart burdened be..."

I repeated the chorus through the different keys, pulling the tempo this way and that for a more dramatic sound; I ran though the different keys of the piece seamlessly, inserting crescendos, diminuendos, sforzandos and forte-pianos where the emotion of the song took me. As I reached the last line I was so wrapped up in the song, I had forgotten I had an audience, and as I held a pause on the last note I let it fall away to nothing.

"You raise me up... To more than I can be."

A quiet applause woke me from the trance the song had put me into, and I remembered I was singing to Glorfindel – his face was a mixture of relaxation and happiness. "I am, for now, contented – but I shall never let you hide that voice again; and the elves of Lorien shall be informed they have a singer to mould in their midst. We will eat and then rest, I hope to depart early in the morning." The fair elf Lord bowed to me before retreating to the fire which was starting to look, from my experience of roaring campfires, a little pathetic. "I thank you for your song – it is a rare gift to be able to put emotion into a song so completely that you become part of it. It was really quite lovely."

I contemplated how strange it had felt to sing in English, but I knew that I had got the words right. Songs like that were so deeply embedded in my memory I would never forget them in the hundreds, thousands, even, of years I would live here. And then maybe even in Valinor.

Glorfindel headed back to the camp and built up the fire again, preparing something to eat. I sat for a little while on the rocks that surrounded us, looking up at the stars in contemplation. Even though I could never really go home, at least I could look at the same stars they did – and somehow I knew that it was alright. It was going to be alright. It might hurt now, but I knew somewhere that Middle Earth, for all the ups and downs it was going to bring, would eventually feel like home to me. Eventually.

"Lady Bernadette! Come to the fire if you want your food hot!" Glorfindel called me over, and I stretched out, stood and walked over to the campsite. I wasn't really tired, but I knew I would be f I didn't get any sleep tonight. That was the order of the evening, food, and bed.

**xxxXxxx**

The next 5 days journey passed without any real mishaps – at one point Glorfindel thought he had spotted orcs, but nothing came of it. If they were after us, they would have attacked when they had a chance.

It was miserable; wet, windy, cold and miserable. I was soaked to the skin and no matter how impermeable this cloak was meant to be, it wasn't in this weather. All my precious electrical equipment was wrapped carefully inside many layers of clothing in my backpack, and I had long since shed my books as the ink smudged beyond readability. Even singing couldn't cut through the elements, and I felt no urge to do anything but ride and sleep, ride and sleep.

"You chose to travel in Autumn!" Glorfindel called cheerfully across to me as we rode hard across the grassland. "If it is any comfort, we are but two days from Lothlorien, a shorter time perhaps if we rode through the night."

"It's disgusting, horrible, nasty weather and you're still _bloody cheerful_!" I complained, earning myself a laugh. "Oh be quiet." I grumbled. "I vote that we keep riding – the sooner I get dry, the better."

Our ride got a little harder, although a stop of a few hours was needed to eat and rest the horses before we picked up again shortly after lunch. I felt, and probably looked, like a drowned rat; my tunic and leggings were stuck to my skin and I was sick of the smell of horse. I was half expecting to develop a cold when I got to Lothlorien. The forest was in sight even from this distance – the great trees loomed in the thick grey sheet of rain. They were far in the distance and only visible from some of the higher areas of the land, but it gave me a second wind and we continued riding on towards the forest. I was nervous – more so as we got closer and closer to the trees. The night was dark and the wind whipped, driving the rain sharply into our faces, and for a moment I was starting to regret my decision about coming here. What if I didn't get on with anyone and I ended up running away? What if I made enemies, and what if people were distrusting of be because of my human past?

_Don't tell them_ the lovely little voice in my head said, but it sounded different to before, more feminine and less angry, more soothing and logical. I put it down to my elven side. _Been a while, hasn't it? Now, come on, just don't tell them where you're from, your real history. _

_You can shut right up, _I told the voice sharply, but I was half inclined to hear what it had to say.

_That's right, listen to me for once. When have I ever led you astray? Tell them you were raised in a human village – an orphan; your father was from Mirkwood and died – your mother you don't know. You went to Rivendell when you were old enough to find out about your own race and begin to find your history._

_It's a bit ... simple, isn't it? Who'll believe it?_ I was doubtful it would work. _And what about my sounding more like a human that speaks Elvish?_

_That will change with time, but for now simply say it was because of your human upbringing_. The voice continued, taunting me to do what it said._ And anyway, the simpler the better, you can't forget it and neither can anyone else. _

_What about my age then, smart one?_ I conceded, internally sighing. I hated losing fights with myself – somehow it seemed contradictory.

_Ask Glorfindel._

And then the voice was gone. It actually _felt _like someone leaving. I sighed, this time out loud, and opened my mouth to talk to Glorfindel.

"Lord Glorfindel, How old would you say I was, if you didn't know my real age and history?" I asked, feeling a little embarrassed. He glanced at me curiously and asked why as he considered the thought. "Because the voice in my head told me to." In said, half joking, half not.

"In Elven years? It is impossible to tell. Your face and figure suggest an older Elleth, well into maturity, but your eyes and speech on occasion betray a younger lady. I would say perhaps three to five hundred, but I would not dare to say for sure. You are rather unique in your situation, Lady Bernadette, and not knowing your culture I do not know the averages of age."

"Thanks!" I said and focused back on Lothlorien. The sooner I got there, the sooner this foul mood I was in would lift and I could sort my head out. And then, maybe, if I found some elves likeminded... cause a little havoc here and there as appropriate.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Pause.

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

A longer pause.

"Are we ... "

"NO! For the sake of the Valar, Lady Bernadette, please stop that incessant questioning! It has been two hours and my answer has not changed!" Glorfindel was clearly getting angry, and I didn't fancy meeting that angry side. Balrog slayer and all that.

The night had passed slowly and I was tired, irritable and bored. So was Glorfindel, who was getting more and more snappy as I asked even the most innocent of questions ... like are we there yet? Thankfully, the rain had eased to a light drizzle and every few minutes the sun broke through, through the rain didn't quite stop.

"However, we are _nearly _there." He said after a moment. "About an hour away. The border guards will know we approach – they may send a group out to meet us before the border, but more likely once we reach the forest we will be greeted."

I grinned. Considering it wouldn't be too much longer till the fellowship got here, relatively speaking, I might even pass a few familiar names or faces!

"The border," he pointed ahead and I felt my spirit soar. Dry clothes and a bath! _Oh thank the stars that... _

We reached the border quickly, and dismounted. "We will wait here to be greeted and taken into the city; as the manners of Lothlorien expect." Glorfindel told me, and I stretched my legs, moaning a little at the deep ache in my thighs and bum. Glorfindel just looked at me, bemused, and then looked to the right, eyes narrowed.

"No games, Warden, I see you." I heard a deep sigh and a grey-clad, silvery-haired elf dropped down from the trees, back to me as he faced Glorfindel. I was impressed; I hadn't heard him or seen him.

"Lord Glorfindel, welcome back to Lothlorien. How did you spot me this time?" His voice was deep, almost cocky and impatient. I was curious as to if this was anyone I knew from the stories or simply a plain old member of the border guard. The unnamed defenders.

"You know my response to that."

"'If I was to tell you that, then it would no longer be effective!'" The elf mocked and Glorfindel smiled at the elf that stood before him.

"It is good to keep you on your toes, my friend."

The elf was tall, and his shoulders were broader than I'd seen. Archer's shoulders or swimmer's shoulders. His hair was long and neatly braided at the back, probably to pull it away from the face I couldn't see and keep It out of the way of that beautiful but lethal looking bow.

"Now, I should introduce you to the Lady I have brought. Lady Bernadette, this is Haldir, the head of the March. Haldir, this is Lady Bernadette."

Usually it takes a lot to stun me; a nice big shock to the system or an awe inspiring piece of music. But Haldir sunned me speechless. _Beautiful but lethal_ – my earlier thoughts described him perfectly. His face was angular and masculine, beyond handsome and frightening; his eyes a clear, icy grey that was cold and sharp. His lips were full, yet were pursed tightly as if he was scrutinizing me. He stood tall and proud in front of me and I didn't know whether to whimper in fear and recoil or to simply stare and admire. He was intimidating, and he scared me just a little. He was the personification of an awe inspiring piece of music - one I hadn't yet heard.

"Welcome to Lothlorien, Lady Bernadette." He bowed and I formed a wobbly curtsey as my muscles strained.

"Haldir, sir, thank you." His head shot up and looked at me sharply,

"She sounds like a human." He commented. "A human speaking Sindarin – it does not sit well on her tongue." One eyebrow was raised and his lip curled into a sneer. Glorfindel opened his mouth to speak, but I got there first.

"Well I'm not, thank you. I was raised by humans and so a human language is my mother tongue, I am of Elven kind, I assure you." I stated, a hint of sarcasm in my voice as I pushed back my hair to show my ears. "i hope this proves to satisfy you?"

Haldir just looked at me; an indifferent, calculating look and then turned to Glorfindel. He wouldn't meet my eyes. I felt guilty all of a sudden. "Oh _hell_, I'm sorry, I'm just in a foul mood from riding for ages and I'm tired and... "

Still with his back to me he raised a hand to signal me to stop. I closed my mouth, shocked at his dismissive manner. "You need not justify your words to me, but if it makes you feel better, you are free to do so. Now come Glorfindel, Lady Bernadette, I will lead you to the city – a good day's walk. I hope you are awake enough to manage." He mocked, the tone of his voice fringed with annoyance, arrogance and humour – all directed at me.

The two began walking, a conversation sparking up between them. I stood still for a couple of moments before striding after them, a scowl on my face. Bollocked for speaking their language, bollocked with his eyes for speaking without truly thinking, and then bollocked for apologising! I already had a sinking feeling about my time here, and considered getting my horse and riding right back the way we'd come. I flicked my gaze behind me, but thought better of it and continued to follow the pair.

Oh, Haldir had rubbed me the wrong way, that was all really. Whilst the reasonable side of me knew I was overtired and would feel better after sleep, I couldn't stop myself from feeling a little bit of annoyance at his chilly reception ."_Wanker_" I muttered darkly in English, they'd got quite a distance on me so I felt safe to mutter in my own language without a swat over the head from Glorfindel. "_What an absolutely arrogant wanker!_"

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed, and see you all soon!**


	7. A Sense of Humour

**Hi all! **

**First of all, thank you for the lovely reviews! They make my day. **

**Real life had a sneaky appearance! The great news is, well, great for me, is that I should be having some exploratory-treatment surgery in the next 10 weeks! That's if the NHS stick to their guidelines - I hope they do. I've been stabbed, prodded, poked, examined, quizzed, swabbed, and stabbed just a few more times. In the last 7 days, nurses attempted to draw a blood sample from me...hang on, let me count... 9 times. Of course, the last time it was done by a pathology nurse and bam, did it in one go. Jammy. **

**ANYWAY! **

**Here we go. I'm still not sure on this chapter, but it needed to happen. I'm trying to express how young Benny really is in this chapter, and how she's dealing with really what would be a lot of stress, fear and a certain level of culture shock. **

**As always, not mine, and do review! **

**MM-x**

* * *

The walk was monotonous and I was being ignored 95 percent of the time; but I was tired and grouchy so the arrangement suited me perfectly. My original fascination had been held by the sheer magnificence of the Mallorn trees around me: the height and smooth, straight trunks more glorious than I had ever seen before in any tree. However, I could only stare in fascination for so long before I realised that they all looked very similar, trying to count them became boring, and trees in general just lost their appeal as the staring was making me feel a little sick.

I wanted to sing, but couldn't think of an appropriate song. I adjusted the shoulder straps on my pack to make it a little more comfortable; I was twitchy, grumpy, bored, still in slight awe and unfortunately a little pissed off. I should have known then that it would have been a really bad combination, but then hindsight is always the clearest.

I was following closely behind Glorfindel and Haldir: close enough to bother them for my own amusement, but I just wasn't sure how. Lacking in inspiration, I opted for my earlier choice of torment. "Are we there yet?" I said in a falsely cheerful manner. Glorfindel shot me a dark, exasperated look over his shoulder.

"Why do you insist on saying that? Do you do it purely to infuriate your companions?" He asked me as I drew up to his side.

"Absolutely. There are many ways I know of pissing people of with just words... Ow! Hey, that wasn't fair!" I rubbed the back of my head where I had promptly been cracked by Glorfindel.

"Watch your language, Lady. You are not among people who use such colourful language on a regular basis. I believe you have had this conversation with Elrond." He reminded me, and I scowled.

"Damn, I thought I'd got out of that one by leaving Rivendell; bugger... OW!" I internally located the words I wanted to say in English. "_Fuck, shit, bollocks, knobhead, wanker... _OW! What the _hell_ was that?"

Glorfindel just smirked at me. "I may not be able to understand your words, but I surely know that look. Now if you have ceased your ranting, I believe that your question should not be directed at me, but rather Haldir."

I narrowed my eyes, glancing across Glorfindel to look at Haldir. He was facing dead ahead, an expressionless mask covering his face as if he'd never heard our conversation.

"I think he'd rather not speak to me." I said coldly and turned to look straight ahead. "I want to sing, if I am allowed to do so. I need some music."

Glorfindel's look changed from a scowl to a warmer smile. "I would not say no. However I do not know if our guide is in a mood for song, especially one that will not be in a language he is familiar with."

Haldir looked back, his eyes meeting mine for a moment before sweeping to Glorfindel. "I am not opposed should her voice prove proficient. Sing as you will, Lady." Just like that, his attention snapped ahead before saying lightly, "We are a fair distance away from Caras Galadhon, and if necessary we shall rest in a talan for the night. I hope you do not mind a little longer travelling." He was quite polite, so I expressed my thanks to him and Glorfindel looked quite pleased.

I thought for a while for a song I could sing. "It is long." I said softly. "A story of sadness and love and curses. A lady locked away in a tower never to look upon her Kingdom, and should she do so her curse will kill her. It should have music with it so it may seem a little repetitive. Stop me if you get bored, this is completely selfish." I added at the end. I began my song as we continued our walk, barely noticing that my feet found the path naturally as I turned my attention to the music.

I sang and sang and sang. Whilst I was surprised I remembered all the words; what surprised me more was my voice was changing from the first time I had sung for Glorfindel. It was clearer, purer and most definitely higher; and I felt the words and tune come more naturally to me. The emotion of the song fell into place easier, my voice didn't begin to strain from the work of singing and the tuning didn't drop as the support from my diaphragm came with less effort. I had no idea what to make of it except to deal with it later.

"_Who is this? And what is here?  
And in the lighted palace near  
Died the sound of royal cheer;  
And they crossed themselves for fear,  
The Knights at Camelot;  
Lancelot mused a little space  
He said, "She has a lovely face;  
God in his mercy lend her grace,  
The Lady of Shalott._"

My voice faded to nothing as I thought about the words. I didn't get a vocal response from either Glorfindel or Haldir and I hadn't expected one; hell, I wouldn't have expected them to listen for so long. However, I didn't expect the bright, charmed smile on Glorfindel's face, and his sweet words to follow.

"I didn't think it was that bad." I muttered, tucking my hair behind my ear awkwardly.

"Bad?" Glorfindel said in astonishment. "You thought that was bad? Lady Bernadette... Whether you realised or not, you sang your song in Sindarin. The words moved me, and you really are finding your voice with us. You should have a little more faith in your own ability, and take it as a gift that comes naturally – I have not known many singers to convey the emotion of music the way you do. Haldir!" He called out to the Elf ahead of us. "What did you make of our songbird? Is she not pleasing for an untrained singer?"

Haldir stopped his walk and looked at me, looked _through_ me – his eyes delving into my own, almost into my soul. I held his gaze for a moment; thinking_ I'm just as strong as you are! Go on, have a go at me, you know you want to... _ and then turned away, heat rising once again to my face. What was I _doing?_ I was uncomfortable – his eyes unnerved me; the startling silver deeper and more thoughtful than it had been earlier. I couldn't find a hint of emotion at all in them and I couldn't read anything from his face at all. It made me uneasy.

"For an untrained singer I agree she is good; I have no musical skill to say any more than that." He said briefly, detached and cool but polite nonetheless. I had a distinct feeling he had more to say, but that he had elected not to. "She would benefit from lessons."

I frowned, gazing at his back for the second time that day as he walked ahead of me. Haldir was confusing. It was like he _had_ to add some snide remark in to make what would have been a compliment sound like I was just average, below average. I felt a lump rise in my throat – I _hated_ being knocked down but would take the criticism regardless. I swallowed and stopped myself from crying as if he had said this, If he thought I needed lessons to become a good singer, I would get them. I heard Glorfindel voice his surprise and scolded his friend, but I paid little attention to their conversation after that. For some reason, I felt I needed the approval of the strange elf ahead of me... I just didn't know why.

**xxxXxxx**

**Haldir**

Haldir watched with slight humour as the poor young elleth struggled up the rope ladder. It wasn't that she was clumsy, per se, it was more to do with how unfortunately her weight was balanced – something she had little control of. He gave her credit for not pausing once for breath and her desire to continue and do it her self, but if she did not find her feet soon her stubbornness would not be an admirable quality. No indeed, it would turn from stubbornness to pig-headedness; not so admirable. He raised an eyebrow at Glorfindel as he explained to her to lean back, rather than in to the rope. Once upon a time that phrase had been used to describe him, alongside aloof and fearsome; the traits he somewhat preferred. He was sure his brothers might have something to say about that, on the other hand, as they oft were his greatest champions.

He considered the girl again. There was something... not abnormal, but not _right_ about her. She seemed uncomfortable in her skin and so completely unsure of herself, which was why he assumed she was quite defensive for someone so young. To be sure, the metal on her face did not help her plight, though Haldir admitted he was intrigued as to what culture used these markers. it made her look harsh when it clearly wasn't in her nature to be so, and it marred her face unnecessarily. Perhaps it was a sign of a warrior caste, or other status symbol that humans used he had not seen. Her hair was too short, he decided, making her face look uneven and not so attractive as he thought it could be with time and a little more maturity. He knew that maturity was there, he had seen it as she stood before him with fire in her eyes and then apologised almost a second later. Unfortunately, she hadn't the control of someone who had walked the earth a little longer. How many years she _did _have he could not determine – 200, possibly 300? She was young, he noted again, but not that young.

_I was raised by humans... _ Haldir heard her words again in her head. No, he decided, that was an outright lie. She had not been raised by humans; she didn't have as many of their characteristics as she should. He had dealt with many human traders on the outskirts of the woods and so felt he knew a little more than most elves about humankind and how they functioned as a group. Her personality was not so naturally demanding and hurried as the men he had met, but she did seem to be a little wilder in her temperament than the usual female elf. She obviously ran a little deeper with her thoughts and did seem clever enough, but her mind seemed to catch up to her after the moment she spoke, rather than before it. She did not seem naturally hurtful or harsh but she was most definitely strong-willed; he suspected she could hold her side of an argument quite comfortably. He imagined her to be quite a defensive one, not an attacker as he was.

He did believe that her father was from Mirkwood, he noticed her ring as he had studied her earlier. He recognised it as one of the less well known crests of Mirkwood, favoured by the guardians of the wood – many a guard had passed through this wood wearing that same crest somewhere on their person. Her tongue oo was unusual; every time he heard it the Elven quality slipped through even more as if it was developing quickly, though she spoke the language flawlessly. It was a mystery as to who this girl was, one he was intrigued by. Maybe, if time allowed, he would ask her... if he didn't scare her away, he thought dryly.

Haldir knew he had put her down earlier. He had not meant to be so critical, and he had not meant to lie to her either. He was not an untrained ear when it came to music and her voice was almost as lovely as Glorfindel had told her it was – but that wasn't what she needed to hear. She needed to be convinced to work to her best, not accept mediocrity, and that was precisely what Haldir was trying to do. He had seen it in her eyes that she would work to prove herself even as he pushed her in that direction. If he told her no, she would go out of her way to prove yes.

_She cannot gain arrogance for her skill_ he thought, and that was the road Glorfindel was leading her down. It was better, far better, for her to remain modest and seek to improve herself before she could allow herself a little arrogance. She needed guidance and structure to her teaching, a ladder to climb. Something was holding her back from being herself so completely, he decided as he thought of the deeper emotion in her eyes; a strange grey-green. Some other sadness and weight on her shoulders that haunted her all her waking moments. He recalled her ballad with fondness, he could hear the point at which she had forgotten they were there and sang just for her own soul. He often did the same with his bow, sending shot after shot to clear and focus his mind once more.

He let out a sigh of relief and a muttered a sharp "Finally," as she reached the platform before quickly climbing up the ladder himself, greeted by Lord Glorfindel as he leapt up from the last rung. Glorfindel had been his check, his balance, and he always made sure his arrogance never crossed the line from what was suitable for one in his position and of his status. He had gained a reputation, and it was one he held carefully in place. The heard-hearted, calculating, arrogant, stubborn and disagreeable Captain Haldir who kept his Wardens safe at all costs.

_The best way to be_ he thought as he watched Glorfindel and Bernadette settle down to sleep; exhaustion clearly visible on both their faces. _For the sake of those I know, and for Lothlorien._

He looked around the small platform at the trees around him and down to the ground. He crouched at the edge in a comfortable but defensive stance.

_And how well I know that feeling._ Haldir thought as he readied himself for the watch. _Weight on your shoulders that you cannot release. _

Haldir could not help but see the similarities between him and the now sleeping elleth, which unnerved him. He had never met anyone like him in so many ways. He thought he could even understand her from the little he had spoken to her. He had seen how uncomfortable she had been as he looked into her eyes; but for a brief moment before the embarrassment hit, he had seen a deep-seated fire inside her. She had shown her hand to him whether she realised it or not; her eyes had said so. She was waiting for his next move to make up her mind about him, and that unnerved him more.

**xxxXxxx**

**Benny**

When I felt myself rising from the sleep I had fallen into so easily, I recognised that it was still dark. Not completely dark, but dark enough for me to decide it was far too early to be awake, even with this new-found eternal life of mine. It would be sunrise soon so I sat up and stretched, my bones cracking from laying on the hard wooden platform for so long. I twisted, trying to spot Haldir. I couldn't see him but I knew he was near; I felt a little safer at that thought. An arse he may be, but at least he was a trustworthy arse. I stood and tried to figure where the sun would be rising from. The brightest of the dim light was to my left and so I turned to watch the clear grey of the morning turn into blazing golds and purples, reds and pinks highlighting the distant clouds. The front of weather seemed to have passed, cool and crisp autumn left in its stead.

I was drying off, and though my boots were still a little squidgy and uncomfortable, my leggings and tunic were dry. My legs ached a little from the effort of trying to climb that demented ladder the night before, and I prayed that I wouldn't have to climb another any time soon.

"You should be resting." I jumped a mile in the air and spun on my heel to face Haldir, who was stood a little distance away from me, his arms folded and a small frown showing on his face. "My apologies, I did not mean to startle you. I confess, I'm surprised you are awake as you seemed so tired yesterday evening."

"I've had all the rest I need." I said with a shrug. "You know, I _was_ just watching the sunrise. I've... well, I've not had much opportunity to recently. Can you see it from inside the city, or are the trees taller still?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

"There are places you can go, but you may not see the full glory from the forest floor. There are observation posts, and the taller talans will of course allow more light." He said quietly, taking care not to wake Glorfindel. He looked slightly awkward and it amused me. "Why do you laugh, Lady?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm sorry if I make you feel at all uncomfortable. I really didn't mean to be such an arse yesterday, you were right, I was incredibly tired and I'm not at home on horseback. Slow as it may be, I much prefer to walk."

"Nay, I am not uncomfortable. I am a little weary myself, which I am sure Lord Glorfindel will attest to." He stopped suddenly, his look darkening. "There have been too many dark nights of late. Too long has it been since I last rested at home. Do you know much of it?"

I tried to think of the best answer. "A little. I have seen the Orcs and Goblins are becoming more brave once more. Lord Elrond was calling a council of the races as I left Rivendell." Haldir nodded. "May I ask why the Lady of the Wood did not attend? I would have expected Elrond to invite her or a representative." He scowled.

"We do not like to leave the wood for our own safety, but the Lady does not need to travel. She has her own ways of speaking with Lord Elrond and watching over all of the kingdoms we inhabit." He explained, and looked up at the sky. "It is getting lighter, we should make moves to leave." Haldir glanced at Glorfindel, who remained soundly asleep. "Would you like to...?"

I grinned. "Oh no, that honour is all yours." He flashed me an almost smile and whipped out a knife from his belt. "What are you doing?" I hissed.

"Watch, Lady." With an imperceptible flick of his wrist, the dagger shot towards Glorfindel who quite literally caught it out of the air.

"Still no luck, Captain. Now, please do rest from throwing knives at me, it is an unfortunate way to wake up in a morning." He stood fluidly and smiled at me. "Good morning Bernadette, how did you rest?" I was still staring at the knife Glorfindel was handing back to Haldir so with an amused roll of his eyes, Glorfindel asked the question again.

"Oh, well enough. I had a small heart attack with our dear guide crept up on me a little while ago, but I think I'm mostly over that now."

Haldir looked a tad offended. "I really would prefer it if you would not call me 'Dear Guide', I am a Captain of the wood."

"I'm sure." I commented, not really thinking as I was considering how to get down the ladder I'd come up.

Glorfindel coughed, looking at me pointedly. "Bernadette, that was perhaps rude."

I looked up and my brow crinkled as I backtracked over what I'd said absentmindedly, and then winced. "Yes, it really was. I was only playing, I really didn't mean to cause any offence." I tried to offer a smile as an olive branch but Haldir just looked at me and then went to ignore me, speaking only to Glorfindel.

"_Now who's being rude?" _I muttered darkly in English, glaring before walking around the pair to roll up my belongings.

"Do you do that often, Lady?" Haldir queried lightly, but when I turned to look at him I could see his eyes were narrow and his shoulders taut. It was a verbal gesture of _fuck you_, I was sure. Standing, I squared my shoulders and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Does it even matter? I didn't mean to start an argument, so shall we just leave it there?" Glorfindel looked warily at the two of us, but as no more words were said for a few minutes he sighed and started to pack his own things.

"May I ask what you said? It was an interesting dialect." He enquired as politely as he could manage.

"It was more to Glorfindel than you anyway, but generally it's quite rude to turn your back on someone you were speaking to only seconds ago. I'd only made a little joke and you took it quite badly, it was a little... frustrating." I said drily. "Again, I mean no offence but you've been mostly quite _cold_ towards me, I just thought a little banter might clear the air. Have a laugh, if you will."

He snorted, rolling his eyes skyward. "My duty this day is to lead you to the city, nothing more. I do not see why should I seek to humour an unknown girl to Lorien who does not know whether she is elf or human."

That stung. All I'd done was joke to lighten the mood; he didn't need to dig at the fact I was still adjusting to this world, even though he didn't know it. "Well I'm sorry if I offended you, _Captain,_ but I'm not sorry I'm not quite as unfeeling!" My temper began to rise and I fought with all my might to keep it back. This was a pointless argument. Completely pointless.

"Perhaps it would do you good, Lady. Do you think it wise to wear your emotions so blatantly on your sleeve for the entire world to see; so you can be manipulated as others may take the fancy?" He looked incredulous, as if it was some great wrong to _feel,_ to care. I told him as much, earning me such a look that I wanted to take it back. His eyes were dark and stormy and he was terrifying. I wouldn't shrink back, I just wouldn't. I would take this head on. _I am not an Orc!_

"You think I cannot feel? You know so little about me and yet you think you have the right to say whether I feel or not?" His voice rose to a full shout.

"By asking that question you've called yourself a hypocrite! You've known me not even a day and you think you can tell what goes on inside my head, just like that?" I snapped my fingers to emphasise my point.

"You are so unbelievably wrong about me. You can't even begin to guess about my life up to now - not a single clue! Why do you even care if I wear my heart on my sleeve or not? At least it is there for people to use for good as well as bad! If we're on the path of making blatant assumptions; I'll take a guess about you. I bet your heart is so surrounded by walls that no-one has seen it for hundreds of years, because you seem to take such offence with mine being in the open. Is all you think about defending your reputation? Because it seems that way." I took a breath, steadying myself.

"How far am I off the mark, Hadir?" I questioned him, looking at him straight in the eye; for a brief moment I thought he would back down. I began to feel guilty and a lump in my throat that threatened tears and I opened my mouth to apologise.

"How dare you?" He said in a low, powerful rumble. I knew I had overstepped the mark; but I couldn't back off now – I would look weak and stupid.

"You impertinent little chit! I ... ." Haldir began but a voice echoed over his, a storm-faced Glorfindel coming between us, fire shining in his bright blue eyes.

"This stops now!" he barked, and we both stepped away, glaring at each other. "Haldir, you will leave us for a time, I believe I must have a conversation with this Lady. And do not think you will get away with arguing in the treetops with her; I shall see to it Lady Galadriel knows of this."

Haldir shot one last dark look at me before he ran down the ladder and walked off into the forest. Glorfindel looked at me sadly for a moment with a sigh. "Why did you do that?"

"Me? I didn't do anything. It's Haldir who can't take a joke!" I said, adamant I was in the right.

Glorfindel sighed again, obviously frustrated. "I think you should have, perhaps, thought about what you were going to say before you said it."

I frowned. "But I know his character so well... I can't help it! He started a childish argument!"

"Think about what you just said. You know what you believe to be a _character_, a name without a face, without a beating heart, without consequences. Benny, you are young I know, but you should have had the maturity to finish it." His voice was soft and I was touched by the use of Benny, not Bernadette. "Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

"I know." I admitted. "I'm argumentative sometimes; it's not pretty, but there you go. You can't say he didn't ask for it."

Glorfindel gave me a secret smile. "Perhaps it is not a case of him... _asking_ for an argument. Maybe it is that whilst you know _him_ from what your stories say you do not _know_ him as a person, you do not know his emotions, and you do not understand him. Not as I do, and not as the Lady Galadriel does. There is much more to Haldir than perceived at first glance"

He took my hand. "I am not angry, Benny. I know you did not mean for such an outburst and I know you are sorry for it. I heard the tears in your voice. But I implore, _please_ learn to control your temper around Haldir. You two are ... similar in your traits. I could see this one argument turning into many if you do not act like the mature elleth I know you are, somewhere deep inside." He teased.

"Yes, dad." I grumbled, knowing he was right. He just gave me a look saying _try that again, I dare you_. "Don't act like my dad then! Okay, okay, I get it, enough of the dad comments. Seriously though, I didn't mean to go off on one like that. I was just a bit annoyed at how he'd treated me yesterday. I felt a bit... shoved to one side, and he made me feel stupid." I admitted to him.

Glorfindel had another of those irritating secret smiles on his face. "I saw no mistreatment on his part. You just do not understand Haldir, Benny... though I think one day you will, if you put your mind to it." He let go of my hand and started down the ladder from the platform.

"Come!" he called to me as he reached the bottom, and I gulped. At least I had gravity on my side. I reached the bottom quickly, and Glorfindel looked around for Haldir.

"Oh well!" he said brightly, heading for the path. "I know Lorien well enough to guide us from here, so Haldir can sulk all he likes. We are close to the city."

I felt intensity and nervousness and excitement all in one big bundle. I was nearly in the heart of Lothlorien.

* * *

**Have a good week everyone! **


	8. Getting Through

**Hi! **

**I am _so_ sorry. Life sucks sometimes. Still haven't had my operation date, still in pain, being a woman is really awesome. Really. ****As to make up for my disappearance, this one is an epic! Please enjoy, I really like this one. **

**Love, always**

**MM-x**

* * *

**Haldir**

So he had been right, Haldir thought with a mocking smile. She had held up an argument, electing to break him down into components in a matter of moments. He was well aware that perhaps he had fuelled that little scene – he was exhausted after taking a double turn at the border and was in sore need of rest. The question remained, however. How had she set upon his person so quickly and with surprising accuracy? It wasn't possible. He hid himself so well that even those closest to him – his brothers, Glorfindel, and once upon a time his parents – were never entirely sure of what he thought and felt. Yet she, like Galadriel, had seen right into him and swept aside the shield he had kept so carefully in place.

Did she realise what she had done?

_Unlikely, _Haldir thought bitterly as he made his way to the entrance to the city; the trees splitting to reveal the ethereal tree-top dwellings, bridges and staircases; glowing as if starlight were woven into the woodwork. Haldir allowed himself a true smile as he viewed his home from a distance, appreciating the beauty of the city.

"We are not lost! Look, there is Haldir; I told you I knew my way to the city from our place of rest!" Haldir heard the incessant accusations (mainly that Glorfindel had almost got them completely lost and that Haldir, amongst other things, _smelt funny_) of that over-bold elleth and allowed himself another smirk. Over-bold and slightly uncouth she may be, but she had an amusing quality; he assumed that _smelt funny _came in replacement of the taboo language she was accustomed to using.

"Hail, Glorfindel! I see you found the city." Haldir called out without turning. "The Lady would see you as soon as you are ready. I advise a change of dress and drying off." He turned to face them, and examined the girl for a moment.

"Do you want me to take a picture for you? It would last longer." She said smirked.

Haldir closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and reigning in his foul mood. "Come. I shall lead you to your talan. There you may change and do as you will before I escort you to the Lady."

He started off in the right direction, not checking to see if the two would follow. He knew they would; if they did not then that was their problem to deal with, not his.

**xxxXxxx**

**Benny **

"Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!" I shouted as I attempted to peel off the soaked elvish leggings whilst stood up, failed in my attempt, and landed solidly on my wrist. "Ow!" I was lucky it hadn't snapped.

I removed them whilst sat on the floor, and then the rest of my clothes. A bath had been drawn for me ahead of time and everything I needed had been laid out in the room: I sincerely appreciated the hot water on my sore muscles after many hours of solid riding. I washed myself and my hair thoroughly, contemplating what had happened in the few short weeks I had spent here so far. Everything had changed, and was changing more as each second passed. I was still gaining a little height, but it wasn't much now.

_Elvish_. The word didn't seem to sound right in my head. I was Elvish. Part of this insane world, this insane time where men carried swords not guns, wore leggings (I snorted here for effect, I knew no man at home that would have willingly worn a pair of leggings except my one cross-dressing friend, Martyn), and seemed so damn chivalrous it was disturbing. A twisted smile formed on my lips - I wasn't opposed to a little chivalry now and again, but I was highly unsure how long I would last before insisting I do things _completely_ by myself, no help, no nothing.

I grimaced. Yeah, blowing up like that would be a _brilliant_ idea if I wanted to keep my cover, keep my history to myself, and try and avoid death-by-Sauron at any cost. Unfortunately, that damned irritating man - elf - Haldir wasn't going to make my life easy. He just rubbed me the wrong way, and I was surprised I hadn't thought of it earlier. In principle, I'd always liked Haldir's character... when he was a fictional character and merely a theoretical person, rather than the real one I had encountered. In the reality of Middle Earth, however, he was arrogant, sarcastic and undoubtedly so far up his own behind he could see Sauron's flaming eye out of the other side.

I dunked my head under the water for a final time as the temperature cooled and hauled myself out of the bath, grimacing as my muscles protested against the action. I pottered around the very simple bathing room, collecting my soggy clothing and wrapping myself in what seemed to be a towel; the material was soft against my skin, almost like silk. For a humble student like myself it felt beyond richness; something that should be used to make bedding, or a dress, rather than dry myself with. I scratched my nose and looked around the small side room, making sure I'd collected everything, before walking back into the bigger room next to it.

The bedroom was by no means large; I'd been in larger at friends houses. It reminded me of a hotel room, I realised with a jolt. Neutral colours that matched the wood, whites and creams and browns, clean and functional. The bed was the same size as a modern double bed, low to the floor with the cushioned headboard pressed against the back wall. To the left of the bed, a small balcony that was currently covered by gently swaying curtains in a shimmering brown-gold. To the right, the entrance to the bathing room, and a dressing table near a medium-sized window, the curtains matching those at the balcony. The room was bright and comfortable, I'd be happy here. By the side of the bed was a small bed stand, and on it was my rucksack, which seemed to be untouched. I looked around the room again from the door to the bathing room. Opposite was a lovely chest of drawers that I assumed my clothes would go in, and the door that led me to the living area . It was a far more spacious double room that consisted of a what could be considered a small kitchen with a dining table, and a wider space with chairs, some form of sofa and an empty book case.

I felt a stab of sadness. At home I had over 300 books that would have filled that case nicely; and now I had none. Tears prickled my eyes as I thought of my own room, and my place in my University halls. None of that was mine now; all I had was the few small trinkets that had come with me on the aeroplane. I toyed with the ring on my finger absent-mindedly, before shaking myself and standing tall. No, I'd make the most of this... whatever it was. New life, adventure, whatever. I bit my lip and looked around the room finally, before eyeing up the chest of drawers. I put the wet clothes on the dressing table and made my way over, opening each drawer in turn. The top held a few tunics and leggings, the middle dresses, and in the bottom some formidable-looking underwear. I shrugged and looked at the tunics in turn, each was simple and unadorned, not much use for a meeting with the powers-that-be in Lothlorien.

I stood straight and secured the towel around me, then wandered to the bed stand and opened my rucksack. Finding the clothes and pulling them out, I rooted for my underwear, the clean pair i had washed in Rivendell, and slipped the bra on, alongside a pair of knickers. Dropping the towel I looked at the dresses in the drawer, and decided that the green one would do just fine. The dress seemed to fit well, a square neckline with long, draping sleeves that were like muslin or gauze, very thin with darker green lines tracing through the material. _Like veins on a leaf_ , I thought with a grin – how appropriate for the woods. The dress fell to the floor in folds and I inspected myself in the mirror at the dressing table – it seemed respectable enough. I sat down at the small stool and shoved the wet clothes off the surface, leaning on it with my elbows and resting my chin in cupped hands. I heaved a sigh as I looked at myself; how could I look the same when so much had changed?

I examined the drawers and found a few hair pieces, diadems, a blade that reminded me of the razor's used to cut hair, and a comb. I dragged it through my tangled locks, now sitting on my shoulders, and glared at the length. Too long. I picked up the razor and examined it.

"Hmm... can I use you?" I asked it out loud, and the metal seemed to glitter as if it was responding with an affirmative answer. I knew the general gist of how it was used after watching TV programme after TV programme on it at University, usually whilst procrastinating from the work I knew had to be done.

"Well, I cant cut the back, so how about blunting it?" I timidly brought the razor to my hair, and used my fingers as a clamp whilst I brought the razor down in gentle movements, the hair cutting and falling away.

I let out a yelp as I caught my finger on the blade, and the wound began to bleed immediately. I dropped the razor on the table and put pressure on my finger to try and stop the blood, internally cursing myself for trying to cut my own hair with a razor. I popped my finger in my mouth as I tucked one side of my hair behind my ear, the longer side, and sulked.

With a snort I looked at my ears. Pointy. That was one of the strangest things I had yet to encounter. Leaf-shaped ears that marked me as part of a race that I didn't understand. I removed my finger from my mouth and put pressure on it again.

"A race I don't want to belong to." I said softly, biting on my lip again. I loved the Elves, but I wanted to love them from a distance. From a human perspective.

"But that's just the thing." I said again to myself. "How different are they, Man and Elf? How different do I feel, knowing what I am?"

"A strange, yet fair question." I jumped a mile high, turning on the stool to see who had been listening in to my one-sided discussion. "One would wonder, however, why you would be asking it at all." Haldir stood in the doorway, eyes focused on me intently.

"We all have our secrets." I said lightly but coolly, determined to keep the situation calm. "Why are you here?"

**xxxXxxx**

**Haldir**

Haldir wasn't surprised at her tone, or her annoyance; she could keep her secrets for all he cared. What he was surprised to see was that she was wearing a dress, a lovely one at that, and looked somewhat presentable.

He glanced at her hair suddenly, and at the small pile on the table at which she was sitting. Then he spotted the razor, and her hand desperately clamping the other.

"What have you done?" he asked in a bored tone, whilst internally he was making sure she had not tried to... do something; He did not know what. She gave him a hard look before unclasping her hands and examining her finger, which dripped red with blood. He felt a tinge of relief, and a little guilt, at what he had subconsciously supposed of this young elleth.

"I was _trying, _" she hissed, sounding in pain. "To cut my hair. It's too long at the front and it won't grow properly if I don't cut it straight." her voice held a note suggesting she was resigned to a fate she did not appreciate, and Haldir had to hold back a laugh. He set his jaw as Bernadette glared at him, her eyes narrowing in annoyance. "And yes, you can stop looking so damn _smug_, I know I'm bleeding and I know I can't do it by myself."

With a sigh, Haldir walked over to where she was sat and took her hand, examining the small cut. Bernadette gave a harrumph of indignation and snatched her hand away, glaring at him as if he had burned her.

"The cut will heal by the end of the night. However, your hair..." he eyed her critically. "Something needs to be done about it."

Haldir watched as she rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't have guessed that, at all." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, and if Haldir were not irritated with he, he would have been suitably amused; that particular tone only he had achieved, out of everyone he knew.

"Give me the razor." He commanded coldly, bored of her childish pouting and sulking. They had a meeting to attend with the Lady, and he had no intention of being late.

He saw fear flash in her eyes for a moment, briefly, before they set like stone as she looked up at him. "No, I'll be fine by myself." She turned back to the table and picked up the razor again, combing the longer side of her hair till it was straight.

"Lady, I've had enough experience with a blade to do a better job than _you_ are currently doing. I shan't do any more damage, I thank you, and you have a meeting to attend. I'm sure you would not want to be late." She still shook her head, biting her lip... with nerves! He wanted to laugh outright at that. He'd scared this poor girl half to death! Chuckling, he stood behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I promise, I shall not hurt you." He met her eyes in the mirror and she seemed to give up, holding the blade up for him to take. He plucked the blade from her fingers, and examined it for a moment, an then dropped into a crouch next to her.

"Turn around." he said, softer perhaps than he intended, but he needed to show her that he would do her no harm. She sat stiffly, he noted, barely breathing as he ran the razor carefully, taking the hair away to match the length at the back. Her hair was thick, he noted absently, and soft, but there were dry areas at the ends which he made sure to take away.

_If she would but let her hair grow_ he thought as he studied her face. _And took out those infernal pieces of metal._

"What are they?" He asked suddenly, unaware at first that he had said it. It shocked him a little, but he was intrigued as to why she was as she was.

"Piercings." she said, still very stiffly. She offered no more, and stared straight ahead.

_Why was her blasted hair so thick?_ "Why do you have them?" He asked again, conversationally. It was awkward, tense, and he did not like it.

"Because." It seemed like she was thinking of an answer. "I like them. They make me stand out." She bit her lip, a habit, he noticed. He was not prepared for such an honest answer from this elleth – but then again, he realised with a start, he should not have been surprised. She was honest... painfully so, as he has discovered.

_She does not think much of herself, then_, Haldir thought, frowning as a piece of hair was stubborn to cut. He could understand that, having a low opinion of oneself. He could even empathise with her, to a degree.

He finished her hair but didn't move, simply looking at her. Her eyes had shut, and she was still tense, but perhaps a little less so than when he had begun.

Bernadette took a deep breath, but didn't open her eyes. "Thank you." she said, stiffly but with meaning.

He stood abruptly, feeling awkward. He was not used to thanks from anyone, and it was actually meant with true emotion. "You're most welcome." He was equally hard in his response.

Her eyes were still shut. "I'm sorry."

Haldir didn't need to ask what she was apologising for. It was on her mind as much as his, it seemed. However, much against his character and what he thought was his desire, he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Forgiven."

Her eyes popped open and she looked at him sharply. "You do?" she was surprised and, Valar help him, so was he.

"Do not get too comfortable." He said dryly. "I am not known to be forgiving." She sighed and grabbed one of the circlets off the table, sliding it into place.

"Come." His cold, sharp demeanour was back. "We will be late." She looked around in a panic for a moment, then eyed a pair of shoes and slipped them on.

Bernadette looked at him with apprehension, then nodded. "Let's go"

Only the pile of hair left in the room was witness to the moment shared between the two stubborn, proud elves. And that hair, sure enough, would not be telling anyone of it any time soon, and neither would the two elves. It would remain buried, hidden, and left well alone.

Or so they hoped.

**XxxXxxx**

**Benny**

_The dark-haired girl heard a scream from somewhere behind where she was seated and she automatically grabbed her mother's hand, panic and nervousness creeping into her stomach. She tangled her feet in the straps of her rucksack so she knew it was with her, and she whimpered as the plane bounced and dropped again. Another tremendous crash and everything in the cabin went dark, the storm threw the passengers violently to one side and the emergency lights flickered into life, oxygen masks dropping from the ceiling._

_Rapidly they dropped, and then without warning the planed tilted and the girl was thrown to the right into the wall of the plane. The twins in front of her were sobbing and she told them it was going to be okay as the girl held onto her mum. She screamed as she looked out of the window, the engine and wing was on fire and smoke billowed threateningly. She was in full panic mode as they began to spiral uncontrollably downwards through the bottomless sky – then the world exploded in heat, deafening noise so close it went right through her chest, and lights-bright whites and reds and yellows. There was unimaginable pain, and finally, there was nothing._

I sat up in one swift motion, bolt-upright and chest heaving from fear. I let out a dry sob, trying and failing to control my erratic breathing. I clawed at the constricting night dress, pulling it away from my throat in an attempt to gain air. I tried to imagine what my mother would be saying to me and I focused on counting, cupping my hands over my mouth to shallow the inhalations and avoid hyperventilation.

_It's just a dream_, I told myself as I climbed out of the bed and moved the curtains leading to the balcony and slipped out, leaning on the twisting wooden railings. I closed my eyes and took a breath of the sweet, clear air and felt my chest loosen completely; I could hear voices in song, like spiritual bells chiming in the distance. I opened my eyes and looked up; the branches of the tree that held my talan reached higher and higher, and I could see the odd twinkling star in between the leaves of the magnificent trees. I could see bridges passing from tree to tree, with glowing elves gracefully walking from one tree to another, and I wished for a moment I could be as graceful as these beautiful creatures.

The meeting with Galadriel had not gone well. She spent more than an hour invading my mind, pulling up awful and purposefully well hidden memories that left me torn and exhausted. The worst had been those of my father, of whom she had a great interest yet would tell me so very little; she brought back the horrific memories of his death that she practically forced, causing a searing pain in my mind as I tried to stop her. I could feel my sorrow at his passing raw and fresh as if it had been only hours, minutes, since it happened... And yet not one single person would tell me any more than that which I had already assumed – that my father was somehow, somewhere, originally from Middle Earth.

I closed my eyes, my head dropping into my hands. Sobs shook my body as I remembered his face, pale and gaunt, as he spoke to me on his deathbed, the last time I heard his voice forever.

"_You know... You know I'm... Not long left." He rasped and I took has hand with a gentle nod, his fingers thin and frail between my own. His chest heaved and he coughed, his pale face surrounded by a halo of dark hair, a desperate contrast to his skin. He gripped my hand and pulled me closer with as much strength as he could muster. _

"_Promise me. Promise me that you'll look after them." His eyes were desperate as he held my hand. _

"_I will." My lips trembled and I bit down, hard enough to draw blood. My eyes were filling and my heart was breaking as my father lay dying in front of me. The stark white sheets of the bed, the pale walls, it all seemed too clean, too good, for what was happening to this wonderful man in front of me. This man who had made me who I was. _

"_No." His voice was sharper and deeper than it had been a moment ago. "No tears, I will not see you cry, darling, please don't." I nodded, taking a deep, steadying breath. _

"_No tears, see?" I pointed with my free hand to my face, and a smile graced his features, though it looked distorted, as if his face were too thin to hold it properly. _

"_Good girl. Beautiful girl." He said, his hand shaking. "My beautiful princess... take my ring. It is yours, and one day I am sure you will need it. One of many gifts that you should be graced with in your life." He took his hand away and pulled off the ring that sat on his middle finger, and he slipped it onto my thumb. _

"_I... There are many things... should have told you. I... I promise...see you again... beautiful Benny!" He coughed hard, wheezing and choking. I looked alarmed and made to call a nurse, but he shook his head. "One day...I'll... explain everything. Do not hate me..." he coughed again. "I'm sorry... Benny!...Know this... I... Love you. Tell... your mother... I love her more... than my life is worth. I..." He coughed, but this time the coughing didn't stop for minutes... and then he was still. Too still. I stood and leaned over him, calling him. _

"_Dad? Dad? DADDY!" I tried to shake him, make him wake up. I had said I wouldn't cry, but the tears flowed freely and onto his face as I put my hands either side of his cheeks. "Daddy?" I whispered, but he didn't respond. In a cool, clinically detached motion I felt for a pulse – his neck, his wrist, and my hand came to rest finally over his heart. I soul-wrenching sob escaped me and I backed away from him, in absolute horror. "No... NO!" I stumbled backwards and ran out of the private room, and headlong into a nurse. She caught me as I tried to run._

"_He's dead! HE'S DEAD!" I cried, and the blue-clad woman looked around and motioned for a consultant who rushed into his room. _

"_Come on, let's find your mum." She put her arm around me and led me to one of the many family rooms. My mother stood, pale faced, as I flew into her arms, and we stood, shaking and crying, barely paying attention as my father's consultant and a small group of his carers came into the room. _

"_Time of death, 17:32." He said, professional yet edged with compassion. "I'm very sorry, Mrs Richards. There was nothing else we could have done." _

I had screamed bloody murder at Galadriel as she brought the memory back, and it took the full force of Glorfindel to hold me back from doing something I would regret to the lady. I had looked her dead in the eye before he led me away, and whilst she looked shaken from my outburst and from the memory, she still seemed to have no compassion, no feeling about _me_. About what she had just done to me by pulling back the worst day of my life.

"I hope you're happy." I'd said coldly – without feeling, without anger. It was all spent from the upheaval of the memories I had worked for 5 years to repress, and to get over. She had bowed her head as Celeborn moved to stand next to her, a gentle hand placed on her shoulder.

"Come." Glorfindel had tugged me in the direction of my talan, passing Haldir on the way out as he stood guarding the doors. I caught his eye for a moment, and he looked directly back with little emotion, save for a flash of repressed anger and empathy. He closed his eyes and bowed his head at me, and I moved to follow Glorfindel again.

As I reached the bottom of the long staircase, the only straight case in Lothlorien, I'd looked up again. Haldir was staring down at me, a look of confusion etched on his proud face, but as he saw me looking in his direction his features became void of all emotion and he stood straight, staring out at the tree line in the stance of a defender, of a warrior.

Now, I stood straight on the balcony, looking upwards again at the stars again. I looked for the brightest, the North star, but I couldn't see it. Maybe it didn't exist here, or maybe it just wasn't in view... but without it, I didn't have the comfort of my father.

I sighed and wandered through my talan to the kitchen, where a large stone jug stood on one of the surfaces. I searched for one of the small, wooden cups Glorfindel had served me tea in and I poured a small amount of water into the cup, struggling a little with the weight. I thought again about earlier in the day, and turned my mind back to the stubborn, proud, arrogant warrior that was Haldir. I would never be able to understand him, as much as I might have known him. I thrived on emotion and feeling, and aiding others... whereas he lived by pushing all emotion away, save the ones that would keep others safe. I knew, in that instant, that though I was safe, I would be forever tormented here. Haldir unsettled me, he made me feel on edge and brought out the very worst in me; even though we had seemed to call a truce on our natural bickering, something just wasn't right.

I moved to one of the wicker chairs and sat, curling my legs underneath me, and I took a sip of the cool, clear water. Glorfindel would be leaving as soon as his horse was recovered to make the journey – tomorrow or the day after – and then I would be completely alone. I would have no companionship with those I felt easy around, and I knew myself too well to believe that I would easily find friends. I stood no chance.

_Oh, what I would give for a healthy dose of Tori and J right now_, I smiled with fondness as I thought of my sisters. Whilst they were boisterous, teasing, and often irritating, we spent many wonderful hours together – me leaving home had mellowed us out towards each other far more than I had expected._ I wonder where they are now?_ I thought with a sad smile. Were they alive, hurt, dead? Were they here somewhere, thrown here with me?

They would be safer than me, most assuredly. They knew next to nothing about this world and only knew the name of the books and films, though they had never paid much attention when they saw them and they had certainly not read them. They weren't at all bookish, I thought with fondness. They were the exact opposite from me in many respects – hence why we grated so easily on each other's nerves but seemed to keep our cool around each other.

I laughed out loud suddenly. What on earth would happen if they met Haldir? They would have him out of his shell in a matter of minutes, with their boundless energy and unyielding optimism, and their ability to be persuasive by adorable cuteness that still showed lingering childhood.

I shook my head and laughed again; at least I could think of them fondly and with smiles. I wasn't crying over them yet, and I still had hope that somehow, some way, that they would find me. I finished my drink and looked out of one of the windows. The sky was starting to lighten – not much reason to go back to bed when in a few hours I would be up again. I placed the used cup on one of the counters and went to get dressed; I intended to do some persuasion and get a tour of Lothlorien from someone, somehow!

As I exited the room, I glanced out of the window absently, completely missing the two elves sat on a platform only a few meters away from my own that had spent the last three hours watching my talan with interest... On the command of their brother.

**xxxXxxx**

**Haldir**

Haldir heard shouting, screaming, and then broken, gut-wrenching sobs. He winced at each one internally as he stood guarding the doors that hid the Lord and Lady of the wood from view, and for a brief moment he wondered just what the Lady and Bernadette were discussing. However, what made that difficult was the fact that only the lady Bernadette was doing the shouting, each phrase drenched with emotion and pain and anger that was almost tangible in the air – he heard no response from the Lady, which left him to wonder just what they were speaking about.

He turned as the door opened – a concerned Glorfindel held his arm around lady Bernadette, whose eyes were red from the tears she had shed, shoulders slumped in defeat and fatigue. The exact opposite of the strong-willed elleth she appeared that morning. He wondered what could have broken her down so fully, and he was surprised that she paused to look him in the eye. He felt a stab of regret and anger as he saw her eyes were void of any emotion, and for one of the few times in his life, he questioned the actions of the Lady Galadriel. Instinctively Haldir bowed his head at the elleth – it was a mark of respect that the Lady expected of all her Wardens and was so embedded into his routine that he did it without thought. However, that simple nod carried a different message, whether he realised it or not.

_I understand._

Haldir found the thought unnerving, and he watched the elleth and Lord Glorfindel slowly descend the stairs. He stepped forward and watched her movements closely, confused. They were graceful enough, but not in the way of the Elves. He began to wonder if she really _had_ been raised by humans... but that thought did not poses him for long. Haldir was unnerved by this lady, and what tormented her so – but she would be too stubborn to tell anyone, as she had proved to Galadriel. Her problems, it seemed, were her own.

Haldir realised she had stopped and looked back, and he shook himself from his reverie. glaring and standing straight, he began staring at the magnificent mallorn trees, and did not look down until she was a good distance away.

_Let Glorfindel be her comfort _He thought, eyes narrowing. _That is a role I am not suited to, and never shall. _

He turned to the hall of the Lord and Lady, and marched in, clearing his mind of those clouded, confused thoughts.

"Haldir. I trust you are well?" The Lady asked him as he bowed low.

"As well as can be expected after months at the north border." he said with some humour, earning a smile from both Galadriel and Celeborn.

"We would be lost without you, as would your patrol, I am sure." Celeborn said to him, and a smirk graced Haldir's features, before he shook his head.

"My brothers would do equally well. Though I must say, they are so easily distracted by pretty elleths, it is a wonder they keep themselves alive." Haldir stood straight. "My Lady, I must ask... the lady Bernadette. She is a riddle, and in pain. What torments her so?"

Galadriel's eyes darkened and she walked over to one of the windows, staring out as the sun made it's way further across the sky, announcing the afternoon was dimming. "I am afraid that was of my doing. She was not easy to talk to, and holds many a secret close to her heart, guarded by walls she has erected to avoid hurt more." She looked at him; a small, playful smile on her lips. "Not unlike a Warden I have in my service."

"I cannot think who you may mean." Haldir narrowed his eyes, and Galadriel sighed again.

"No, I am sure you cannot." She stayed silent for a time. "Haldir, I would ask you to watch over her. She has seen pain, and hurt, and she has done very well to hide it, push it away. I fear that she may begin to relive all those memories that I have brought back, foolishly perhaps. I ask nothing more than a little of your time. You are not unlike her, Haldir, and I have heard about your argument at the border." She turned an icy glare at Haldir, and he resisted the urge to flinch. "Yes, I think you know that I am not best pleased. I have had you as a Captain of the March for many long years, and never have I needed to discuss your conduct. Why did it come to this?"

He bowed his head, angry at himself and Bernadette, for incurring the Lady's wrath. "I... that is to say, _we_, both have equally rash tempers, it would appear." His teeth were clenched as he bit out the words, making it clear that he was not the only one at fault.

Galadriel studied him for a time, sensing his anger and it's direction. She raised an eyebrow and walked back to her husband, who had remained silent. "She is a guest, Haldir, and you have a job to do."

"With all due respect, my Lady, I believe it takes two to have an argument." He was reminded sharply of her coarse words, and he dropped into his mask of uninterested, distanced, self-protecting annoyance. It was better for himself and for lady Bernadette if he was not reminded again of their easily avoided argument. She just got under his skin, and that unnerved him – he did not want strangers knowing all there was about him.

Galadriel stared at him again, her eyes focused on his own. "Very well, Haldir, I see you have solidified your opinion on Lady Bernadette, and I will not seek to change it. I would still have you watch her, speak to her from time to time, see that she is well and does not distance herself from others. You have my leave to go."

Haldir bowed to Galadriel and Celeborn in turn. "As you wish, my Lady." Haldir turned on his heel and left the room. Making quick work of the stairs, he went to look for his brothers, no doubt somewhere drinking already. They had a few months off whilst another group took their post and his brothers would want to make the most of it.

He found them in a drinking hall, near the centre of the wood. "Rumil, Orophin, I have something to ask of you." They looked at him, their smiles growing in unison.

"What, dear brother, would you ask of us?" Orophin asked, taking a swig of his drink.

"There is someone that needs watching. Lady Bernadette, who came to this wood with Lord Glorfindel. The Lady would have her watched, and I would ask you to help do some of the watching." His words were stiff – he did not like asking for favours, but he would not sit arguing with the elleth he had come to find so naturally irritating.

His brothers looked at each other for a moment, as if discussing between themselves. "Is she pretty?" Rumil asked, a glint in his eye.

"Passably." Haldir said blandly, willing to say anything in order to get the help of his brothers.

"Oh, it seems someone is a little jealous! Tell me brother," Orophin stood and clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Why is it we are to do the watching, not you, if you have designs on this elleth?" He teased.

Haldir pushed Orophin's hand off his shoulder a little more forcefully than necessary. "I have no designs on the girl. She can barely stand to be in the same room as me, and I assure you, the feeling is entirely mutual." He looked at his brothers with a pleading stare, and they both sighed over-dramatically.

"Fine, brother, as you asked so nicely. Lead the way." They both finished their drinks and followed Haldir's quick pace to the lady Bernadette's talan.

**XxxXxxx**

Rumil and Orophin watched Bernadette as she moved in the main room of her talan, both intrigued by the unusual lady. She was sat with Glorfindel, talking about something or other, crying, storming about, and on occasion, throwing something at Glorfindel for which she immediately apologised and began crying again.

"She's a strange one, brother." Orophin said quietly. "She certainly has a temper. Oh!" He cringed. "She nearly hit him again."

"Haldir used to throw things when angry." Rumil commented. "When he was much younger, of course. Though I do not think he broke down in tears quite like that... oh dear, I am not surprised Haldir is not... ouch!"

"Oh dear, now Lord Glorfindel is angry..." they both heard a door slam and a stream of language foul enough to make Sauron blush flew forth from the talan, loud enough for the whole of Lothlorien to hear. "It seems Lord Glorfindel is not the only angry one."

They both sat and watched as Glorfindel coaxed her out of her room and held her in a tight embrace, speaking firmly to her and she nodded. Orophin watched with interest as she seemed to fall in on herself – he could _see_ when she just gave up, all her anger released, her crying over. Then he felt panic as she collapsed in Glorfindel's arms, her legs falling from underneath her.

Glorfindel, however, looked quite clam as he lifted her and took her into another room, and then came out again, looking quite smug. He looked out of the window and spotted the two brothers, and motioned them into the talan.

"What are you doing here?" he asked quietly, and the two looked guiltily at him for a moment.

"Haldir told us to – apparently the Lady wants him to watch over her. However, for unspecified reasons, he will not watch her, so he handed us the job." Rumil laughed.

Glorfindel scowled. "How typically Haldir. He and Bernadette, this lady who has fallen into your care... well, as she would say, 'rub each other the wrong way.'"

"He did mention that. Have they already fought yet?" Orophin asked eagerly.

"Oh yes, it was quite spectacular. However, I do believe he scared her half to death by towering over her with a face like thunder. He looked prepared to have her by the neck if I had not stepped in." Glorfindel cast a weary glance towards the door. "She and Haldir are too similar for their own good. I think it is maybe best the two are kept apart."

"How similar is too similar?" Rumil asked, walking towards the door that was slightly ajar, looking at her pale, sleeping form for a moment before turning back to Glorfindel. "She's still resting – is she well?"

Glorfindel allowed himself a smirk. "I put some herbs to induce sleep in her tea. She needs rest, and time to calm down. Too similar, too similar..." He moved to a chair and sat, drumming his fingers on his knee. "She is stubborn. She is proud, but not so proud as Haldir. She is dedicated to helping other people. She is afraid of emotional pain. She has suffered great losses in her life... though that is her story to tell, not mine."

"Quite similar then!" Rumil said joyfully, grinning. "You would think, then, that they should enjoy each other's company, rather than spend it squabbling."

"I am sure." Glorfindel said dryly. "Now, make yourself useful and watch Bernadette elsewhere. She will be hungry when she wakes, so make sure to have some food around. " He shooed the two brothers out of the talan, and settled himself down, making sure she didn't wake unexpectedly.

**XxxXxxx**

Rumil and Orophin heard her scream. It was all they could do not to rush in and make sure she was well, however each knew it was not. She wandered into the living space, pale and shaking, and struggled with the heavy water pitcher before sitting down to think.

"Nightmares?" Rumil murmured, and Orophin nodded.

"I would say so. She seems fine, if not a little shaken." They watched her, and were startled when she laughed. It first started as a hiccup, and then became a full, if not light, laugh.

As she moved, she looked out of the window, and each brother thought they were done for. Her face was soft, her hair a dark mass, but very short, for a female. A face that made a passer by stop and think about her – pretty in a unique way, but even at a glance, the barriers she held around her were clear to see.

However, to their surprise, she moved on without even acknowledging their presence. She had not seen them.

"Her mind is elsewhere." Rumil looked at the sky. "It is not far from sunrise, I do not think she will return to sleep. Perhaps I should get some food for her – some bread and fruit – and then we can introduce ourselves?"

Orophin nodded. "I agree. I would like to find out what irks our brother so."

"I would like to know why she look like she has lost the world." Rumil sighed softly, before climbing to the forest floor and running to find some food.

* * *

**Reviews always appreciated! Thank you to everyone who has so far - it means so much.**


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